The Last Day of Elul

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Produced by Mishkan Chicago. Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss.

Transcript

Transcript

I'm just narrating here, pulling my Talit out, spreading it out like a curtain,

like a sheet that I intend to fold, except instead of folding it, I'm going to drape it over me, fold myself inside of it. Take a few breaths and just feel myself being fully present in this moment with you,

with God,

with the intention of being here for half an hour to connect and deepen my relationship with our tradition, with myself, with the life force of the universe, with my own sense of what I must do this day. And what is your intention for being here this morning? What can What connections do you intend to deepen in being here, preparing for your day? Baru kata, Adonai, lo Hino, melam, ashraki, Chanu Bo mitsubinu, lehita, ate batsit.

Blessed are you Creator

of the universe, the one who wraps me in fringes? You?

I'm going to pop this thing here.

Breathe deeply into presence and gratitude for waking up this morning and somehow dragging ourselves to this computer screen. Oops, wrong one, dragging ourselves to this computer screen and turning it on and deciding, instead of just laying in bed for another hour, I'm going to be with people I'm going to be with people I'm going to be with tradition. I'm going to bring myself to, if not say, think, or at least be exposed to words of gratitude. Maybe it will get me one step closer to feeling it.

Oh. Da

ni, Bo,

da ni le Kaya, Mo Da ni le Fana,

a Knee Schnabel, behemoth,

behem la

Rabbi

Lizzi, sitting up a little straighter, finding alignment in your spine

That's, you know, possible in whatever position you're in. Somebody told me they sometimes listen while they're on the bike on the way to work, like the commute, so don't do anything dangerous.

And Monat

Uh. So if I could turn my computer around and give you a 360 of my dining room table, what you'd see is I'll just count them, 1-234-567-8910, 1112, 1314,

book. Books all

out like this, you know, like on some page that I was like, I want to remember that page, because it's that time of year. Now you're probably not going to hear me referencing 14 books, you know, in one sermon at Rosh Hashanah, but this is the time of year, I feel like I'm just trying to take all of the assorted thoughts that are knocking around from the year, because high holidays feels like it's cheshbo nefesh. Okay, cheshbo nefesh means an accounting of each one of our souls, but we're also doing it as a community. So there, you know that part of the job is of the rabbi is like Heshbon kaha, like the, you know, in sole inventory of the community, but also like the wider community, the Jewish community, also, Rosh Hashanah is the birthday of the world. What's the Heshbon of the world? Like the, you know, Heshbon in modern Hebrew, also means, like, the check, like, the itemized list of what you ordered. Like, what happened here? Like, that's kind of the like, what happened at this table, this table of our world. Somebody said to me yesterday, aren't all Rabbi's just doing some version of the same thing this year everywhere? Like, you're all working so hard, like, couldn't you all just collaborate? Because you're all basically probably going to write the same thing, right? And I don't know, maybe yes, maybe no, I think we're all probably processing slightly differently, and our communities are all you know, different in their own ways. And so it's probably worth it that we're all doing all of this work with all of the books open, but that is to say, before everything settles, before everything settles down into, you know, the sort of orderly categories, paragraphs, words that they'll eventually settle into. It all feels very sort of messy and all over the place, which I'm sure is a metaphor for the emotional life of all of us in this period of the month of Elul, when, if we're really doing it, if we're really harnessing this month, we are doing some kind of cheshbon, real like accounting of the Year, which means opening up the book of our life. Maybe you have an actual journal, and you can go back to, you know, October, November, December of last year, and really like chart the course of your year, maybe you don't have an actual book. And what Heshbon nefesh means, what that time means for each one of you, of us, is time is like spending the time to sit at a table in front of a computer with a, you know, legal pad pen and and go over the year and, you know, on a superficial level, what happened, just what happened, what happened here? And then on the next level down, why? Why did it happen in that way, if I liked it great, did I make that happen, or was it an accident? If I didn't like it? Did I do something to bring that on? What happened? What happened here? How did it happen? Why did it happen? Is it going to happen again, definitely, or is there something I can do, maybe, to change the way that I am so that I can at least clean up my side of the street, as we say, these are all, you know, these are all the kinds of questions that we can sit with in this moment. Um, I wanted to read as as I was going through in my many, many, many, many open books here I came across an oldie, but a goodie. So I'm going to recommend, if you haven't got this one on your shelf, moral grandeur and spiritual audacity by Abraham Joshua Heschel. You don't have it. Order it. If your friend doesn't have it, order it for them. It's a collection of essays by the really incomparable, the Abraham Joshua Heschel, you know, like they say, like Mo. This. There was never a prophet like him. There was never really a writer or rabbi or teacher

who wrote like Abraham, Joshua Heschel.

And so he has a number of essays on many Jewish things. And I just, I wanted to read for us, because we're the minion crew here about prayer. Is there a couple? A couple? Apparently, the way that he used to write was he would write on top of like, index cards, and then he would lay them out on the ground and order them. So it's not like he would sit down and write an essay top to bottom. He would have hundreds and hundreds of cards. And actually, my own rabbi, Arnold Jacob wolf apparently, was like his assistant for a year or two at Hebrew Union College when he was there in Cincinnati, and it was the job of the assistant to put the cards in order. You know, it was like Heschel would write the brilliant card, and then the assistant would be the one who sort of like ordered them. So if you maybe think to yourself, like, I don't totally get the connection between paragraph 24 and 25 maybe that wasn't AJ heschel's fault. Maybe that was his TAS fault. Anyway, I'm going to read,

where is this one? Two different ones about prayer in this book. Oh, my God. Oh, you guys, there's so there's so much. All right, okay, well, I can't find the original one I wanted to read, so I'll read this one. He writes. This is inside of an essay called Oh on prayer, okay, all right,

public worship is an act of the highest importance. However, it tends in our days to become a spectacle in which the congregation remains passive, inert spectators, but prayer is action. It requires complete mobilization of heart, mind and soul. What is the worth of attending public worship when mind and soul are not involved? Renewal of liturgy involves renewal of prayer. There is, in addition, a malady indigenous or congenital to liturgy. Liturgy, as an act of prayer, is an outcome or distillation of the inner life, although its purpose is to exalt the life which engenders it, it harbors a tendency to follow a direction and rhythm of its own, independent of and divorced from the energies of life which brought the prayer into being at the beginning, liturgy is intimately related to the life which calls it into being. But as liturgy unfolds, it enters a state of stubborn disconnection, even in a even into a state of opposition. Liturgy is bound to become rigid, to stand by itself, to take on a measure of imperviousness. It tends to become timeless, transpersonal liturgy, for the sake of liturgy, personal presence is replaced by mere attendance, instead of erecting a sanctuary of time for the realm of the soul, liturgy attracts masses of people to a sanctuary in the realm of space. Okay, before I go on, was anything I said not clear? Or did you hear it and you were like, Oh, wow, I've totally experienced that.

Go ahead and unmute the second.

Okay, what and what about the second?

The I've definitely experienced in many places where, like you just, you kind of show up to synagogue. But people are chatting. There are the teenagers are on their phones, you know, like there is not, you don't really get the sense anyone's taking it personally.

You know that it has, it's, it's just something you do because you're supposed to, or because you have a really nice dress that you want to show off, or, I mean, really, you want to see your or if, if, I

mean, I'll, I'll, just um, to the the the most generous read on the sort of like showing up because you've got a nice dress or purse you want to show off. What I'll say, like maybe the danchafut, the giving the benefit of the doubt interpretation is that person does not even know that there is an inner life to be accessed with prayer. I. And so the reason to show up is primarily social, yeah, which, like, it's not a bad thing, right? You know, they there's the sort of the community, right, right? Community, community, and community means different things to different people. And, yeah, but, but Right? That, like, for someone who knows that prayer has actual power to leverage the inner life, and that's why we come into to do it all together, is because, like, all of our inner lives combining, it's forceful and it's powerful. But, like, if you don't know that's possible, then it's, you know, it's like, wow, thanks for coming at all. Okay. Ricky,

yeah. What came up for me is that idea of, like, sometimes when you go to high holiday services and the cantor, or even just Shabbat services, but the cantor is singing in a way that no one else can sing with them because their voice is so high or so yes, or, you know, it's like, Wait, I don't want you to pray for me, right?

Yeah. He talks about, he talks about prayer by proxy, basically, like somebody else will do this for me. I'll stand here and watch them do it. So then it sort of does it on my behalf, which, by the way, that is technically the job of the person leading prayer is to, you know, sort of lead us in the fulfillment of this mitzvah. And if there is a person who doesn't know how to do it themselves, to do it on their behalf, to fulfill it for them, but when you have a room full of people who literally cannot participate because it's been made so inaccessible, then you force people into that posture of inertia that he describes, Okay, anybody else as, I love what we've got in the what we've got In the what we've got in the chat too, like a little bit of resistance to, you know, like fashion is an art form as well, also a form of self expression. Okay, yes, yes, yes, and and, yes. Miriam, there is this idea of hidor mitzvah, which is beautifying, doing a mitzvah, you know. So if you're gonna come to shul, don't just, like, show up in your, you know, slippers and pajamas, you know, with like, disheveled hair and like you just want, you know, like, is that how you want to show up for God, you know, but really, but really, like placing yourself and creating with your mezuzahs, with your talus, with your Sukh, you know, your your sukkah, with the table you make for Friday night. Like making something beautiful out of it. So all of that yes, and what I think Heschel is saying here is we have forgotten, or maybe never knew, how to do hidor mitzvah with our inner life, to take our inner life and actually take it as seriously as we take, for example, what we put on our bodies to leave the house or to go to Shoal. Any other notes before I before I read another little bit here.

Okay, all right.

Okay, he writes. Prayer is not a stratagem for occasional use, a refuge to resort to now and then. It's rather like an established residence for the innermost self. All things have a home. The bird has a nest, the fox has a hole, the bee has a hive. A soul without prayer is a soul without a home, weary sobbing, the soul after roaming through a world feathered with aimlessness, falsehoods and absurdities, seeks a moment in which to gather up its scattered life, in which to divest itself of enforced pretensions and camouflage, in which to simplify complexities, in which to call for help without being a coward, such a home is prayer, continuity, permanence, intimacy, authenticity, earnestness, are its attributes. For the soul, Home is where the prayer is. So that beautiful,

you know, there's a, yeah, I cannot commenting. Then, of course, in a traditional orthodox service, it's very active. I mean, it's very individual. Doesn't require a rabbi Lizzi it was very individual and still present in certain areas. But you're right as a group and as a society, we've lost that ability to gage in oneself under those circumstances. It's not so easy in a 3000 seat inner. How can I put it? Congregational Hall? I

know. I know.

I mean, do any of you have advice for how you know? I mean, like, obviously, this, this indictment of Jewish prayer spaces he was making in 1963 like, I read this, and I'm like, okay, part of my job, yes, Ricky, that. Like, isn't that why you come to Mishkan? Yes. I. Consider part of my job, you know, my marching orders to be doing my absolute best as a rabbi and prayer leader to make sure that doesn't happen. However, I think there is a risk, as he writes, indigenous to or congenital to he says liturgy, but maybe being in a room with 3000 people in which you could fade into the background and nobody would notice if you weren't really connecting to the prayer, you know, if you didn't know it. And you know, and so, yes, part of why you come to minion, Oh, I'm so glad. I'm so glad, Sherry. But do any of you have any little, you know, any bits of like, suggestions for how to create inner life engagement in public prayer. When we do it, we do it here, I think pretty well. We have a chat function. You know, there's music. You can sing as loud as you want, but what like

anything else?

The only thing I would say to that sort of going backwards, sorry to take you back, is that the liturgy is often incomprehensible to a 3000 person room. We don't all, we certainly don't all know Biblical Hebrew, and most of us don't know Hebrew at all. And still, the prayers come, you know, a lot of people don't even know that. They're excerpts from different parts of Torah. And so if you don't know where it comes from, and you don't know what it's saying, you can't be connected to it unless you just kind of like the tune. And that can be enough for some, but it's not enough for others. And so we need to work to make people connect to the words that they're saying or hearing. Yeah,

thank you. Thank you so much. I think, yeah, and then I'm just to read you what Julia said here. It's such a personal thing depends on what a person is bringing into that space at the particular moment, which is, which is very true. And you know what Morris was describing about like, a typical orthodox environment, is, you know, the role of the Hazen or the prayer leader isn't so much, to quote, lead prayers, as to just let you it's sort of like the person in the marathon who's pacing the different mile, you know, who's like holding the sign that says five minutes and eight minutes, you know, who's letting you know where they are so that you can pace yourself relative to them. So, you know, they'll start the prayer out loud, and then kind of Dave and daven quietly. Because, like you can also daven, Dave and quietly. And then they'll come back out loud for the hatima, for the hatima, for the end of the prayer, and then they'll go into the next one and, and it's just sort of this, like dance of out loud, quiet, out loud, quiet, Shema, yes. And then, like, maybe I have to very quickly. And that actually works for some people. And then some people walk into that space and, well, maybe they know this stuff. And actually they would prefer to do more that's like group song, and maybe they actually don't know and can't follow or that style of prayer leadership doesn't totally work, whatever it is. I mean, like, synagogues have completely, you know, based on the community, we create a leadership style, and then in the case of Mishkan, based on the leadership style, we created a community. And in any case, this is for all of you who are here and for the person who is listening, man, this is, this is just an invitation to bring your inner life in here. So not necessarily just to listen to what's happening, but to consider it an invitation, and if you're reading along in translation, not to see that translation as like, Oh, this is the translation of the prayer. But actually, this was the expression of the inner life. This was the gratitude, the sorrow, the joy that someone felt at some point, and then they said it, and then they wrote it down. And then eventually, you know, as they say as what's his name? No, I'm forgetting his name. He's a, he's a Jesuit monk, but he talks about liturgy being like a volcano, you know, in the original sort of impetus for it is like the hot, flowing lava, you know, coming down the mountain, and it's powerful, and it can hurt you, you know, it's powerful, but after a while, it just turns to cold, dead rock, and you would never know that there was life in it. And so, and so it's our job to remember what the life was, what the hot pouring, you know, sort of passion was, and extract it from what could be cold, dead rock, although I hope it doesn't feel that way. And then I'm just, I'm just going to read here some of the things on the side. I used to lead prayers. Lead prayers, and that was meaningful. Maybe more agency in relationship. I mean, I'm curious to know, for the people who lead on Friday mornings, for example, here, if that actually helps you connect to the inner meaning of the words, which I hope so, that's part of the idea. Corey writes like tourist study, not a hard. To hear shofar differently, after exploring the emotional roller coaster of interpretations about the shofar in the context of Yael and Sarah and the Psalms, calling it a sweet Yes, yes, exactly, calling it a sweet sound altogether, it's like, yeah, in what universe can you call that sound of the shofar sweet? Or like, say, a sweet new year when the sound of it is recalling pain, suffering, war, longing, loss, tragedy, Triumph also, but it's very powerful. Yeah, thank you. Like the more we learn about the stuff, then you can come into the moment and feel it very differently. Yeah, following on Sandra's comment, that's why I like the little explanations and comments the rabbi's sprinkled throughout his service. Guideposts. That's what we're trying to do. That's what we're going for. Roberta, all right, what I would like to do now is fast forward to the Schnabel, because now it's 826, and wow, I like, had I had a whole plan for this morning, but I guess the plan was ultimately that we talk about prayer,

and I'm going to move us Here,

if you are wearing a Telit, invite you to hold in Your hand the four corners of the seat. Seat you

and let all the swirling dialog come to stillness. And as we say, Shema Yisrael, listen pay attention. What is it during this month of Elul, what is calling to us from our inner life, from the heartbeat that it requires stopping in order to hear? What is it that is calling to us to pay attention to as individuals, as a community, as a wider community, calling us into oneness. Shema,

Yisrael, Adonai,

Adonai. Know,

yeah, after eight, I don't know how you had very high a the share. I know he met Saha. Levana covid upon but shifted to fold beneath of time we share. I was doing a little poking around, you know, just looking for material for for us to study. One of the things I noticed is in exploring the month of Elul the rabbi's start to see it everywhere. And so, for example, in this very phrase about an ilo recha And you will love the Lord, your God, the Word, the letter aleph. And then

lamid, and then vav and then lamed Elul,

throughout the phrase The month of Elul. How during this month can we each internalize this even more fully, to love with all your heart and soul and might, to love God, to form some kind of deep love relationship with our life and with the world around us. That's the invitation. We will do a healing prayer now. I'll do it in the context of Miha mocha. And if you have people you are praying for in this moment, and I know we all do, people in this room who need health, healing, support, resources, people in your lives, feel free to put their names in the chat or say them out loud. You

Oh, say, fella, no.

I don't My bad.

Is, no, I Don't like

God, he's right. Full

and complete healing of body and mind and spirit. To everyone on Delia's list and Roberta's and Miriam's, everyone in this Minion on Susan's list, Meredith Carla's, Glen's, Sarah's, Jessica's, Ricky's Michaels, Julia's Sherry's and prudies. And everyone who's listening to this later, sending up a prayer for everyone who's on your mind, as well as always, sending a prayer for the survival and health of hostages being held, and also Gazan people, and also Israeli people, and also anyone who is scared right now and doesn't have control over their external surroundings and just hopes they will make it through the day, sending prayer of sensitivity and love. And if there's anyone who you come across in the world who you feel like you know, this person might just benefit from the attention of a passer by, because they can't totally control the surroundings you know around them, but you you become part of the surroundings. Maybe take this opportunity this week to give a little more love to people around you who you know they aren't expecting it, but you can surprise them by creating a more loving world. I would love for Ricky, if you've got that shofar, and Eric, if you've got your shofar, we'll blow and then We'll say Kadisha Warner, Scottish,

it, Eric, did you get a chance as well?

Wait, but you're you're on mute, Eric, you're muted, Eric, you're muted.

Oh, I was muted. Sorry, okay,

all right, I'll

give it. Give it one last year, amazing.

Yeah, sure, Co Op,

and of course, the dogs come out at Miriam's little dog there who responds so meaningfully to the shofar. Thank

you, Ricky, thank you Eric, and for Teresa, Owen and who else are we saying Kaddish for this morning?

Mark Nur, love,

Nathan Pollock, Sylvia herring,

may their memories be blessings. I'm going to stand back up for this. Is there anybody who would like to try to lead Kadesh? I. Susan, you did such a nice job last week.

Okay, I'll do it.

Girl, Yes, Dad would be proud.

Well, dad didn't say it until he was 90, but Well, yitka Dash me Rabbi Deena, rocking the amlikma Hotel. Amen. Amen, hey, Schnabel. Schnabel may Rabbi Lizzi. Ish, Tabak Viet Rama vietna, say, be it Hadar, Vietnam, she made good shopping. They are Layla mikovia, tomato. Dai Miranda, Mavi grew Amen, Keith, Schnabel, Rabbi Shamaya, the Haim. Elena, where CO Israel, being Amen. And then Lizzi, please scroll up. That's okay, not that good yet. Okay. Osei, shalom, bimo Huya, OSes, shalom, Elena, veal, Ko, Yisrael, they are Ko, Yo, schwe, take that beam. Ru on,

amen. I'm proud of you. I'm impressed. Oh,

thank you. It's it's just a more practice, just by doing it every day, right? Then you end up it becomes easier, apropos our discussion earlier, the more you pray, the more meaningful it could be.

Mm, hmm, yeah,

yeah, I

am.

I always think the like, the pressure to quote, feel it every single time is unrealistic. But as my Chabad rabbi said in college, if you don't give yourself regular opportunities to feel it, then you'll never feel it. You know, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so to speak. Or like not every home run hitter hits a home run every time. Sometimes they hit a, you know, like, single double and like, all of that is good, and all of that is worthy, and all of that is practice. And without all of that, you wouldn't get the home runs and, and, yeah, if you don't practice, then the ability to actually do what you just did. Yeah, Susan, is that you can't and you can't, but it, I think it takes some vulnerability to actually place yourself regularly in a space where you don't know, to get over the hump of not knowing, to start to know. You know, it's something kids do really naturally, and I think adults, it's like a learned skill for a lot of adults to have to, you know, like learn, learn a new thing, especially a new thing that it seems like everybody else already knows, even though, like everybody else doesn't already know it. But,

you know, it always feels that way. Yeah.

Thank you, all, I have to go so I just wish you all a great day. Thank you for being together. Take care. Bye, bye. Thank you all. Have a great day.

Have a great day, everyone.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai