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Updates From Israel with Rachel Goldberg

October 18, 2023 Mishkan Chicago
Contact Chai
Updates From Israel with Rachel Goldberg
Show Notes Transcript

Content Warning: This episode contents rocket sirens and frank discussions of war.

Today's episode is our virtual Morning Minyan from October 16th. Rabbi Lizzi led us in a celebration of Rosh Chodesh and prayers for the hostages, and then beginning at 36:19, Jerusalem-based Mishkanite Rachel Goldberg was generous enough to share some updates about what life is like in Israel right now.

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For upcoming Shabbat services and programs, check our event calendar, and see our Accessibility & Inclusion page for information about our venues. Follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates.

Produced by Mishkan Chicago. Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss.

Transcript

Welcome moto friends, far flung friends here in Chicago, on the north and south and east and west parts of the city and all over the country. It's nice to see your faces. There we still are we still reaching you somewhere in New Mexico? No, I'm in New Jersey now.

I'm at Joint Base McGuire. DIX Lakehurst. It's my first time back. It's nine o'clock here. It's weird.

Man, good morning. And I don't know if I seen your face and minion before. Where are you tuning in from this morning? Oh, and you got to unmute for a second.

Chevy Chase, Maryland.

Wow, Chevy Chase, Maryland. Are you related to anybody at Michigan? Or are you just here? You found us?

I'm related to Beth who was a member who's tuning in also.

I love it.

When you're saying Kaddish for my dad. Thank you so much.

Hi, Elizabeth. All right. Well, whole family. Ah, and Rachel Goldberg in from Jerusalem at a table. Not in a shelter this week. God willing, it stays that way. sending you lots of love. So for those of you who didn't see the note in Slack, I am going to I'm going to run minion this morning. And after we've said Cadiz, Shia Tome and sung Oh say Shalom. So Rachel will kind of give us an update on how she's doing and what the vibe is on the ground. And we'll just have some some time to chat together. And then I think we'll close out with a prayer for peace as usual. As usual. Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha olam as your kids shadow Bar Mitzvah tablets the Vanu the heated teeth but seats it

right well, we have a lot to do in a short time is the truth, my friends this morning. And so we're going to begin with Psalm 30 and then go straight into shotcrete because today is Rosh Hodesh. Today is the beginning of a new month. And with the beginning of a new month, come prayers for the new months and a sense of things changing on the calendar things changing cosmically you know, in the actual in the actual planets and the way that they move and what we see and so we include in all of that a prayer that things might change for us here on Earth too. All right. So this is from Psalm 30

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I want to invite you if you're able to stand to stand I want to invite the frog in my throat to exit to make a graceful exit you're invited to our Minion to you don't have to stay in my throat awkward little cough alright if you're able to stay on please do and face east

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Hello

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God bless you all for getting in there even though you've got frogs too

Hi Barbara Hurtado, neither me Mother hola me Otero boy Kosha who session over at a call. Hi. Mayra as for that I really have a rough on me move to Bamako desert but hold on to me my savory sheet or her Dasha to into any scat who landed me here and they are row by row Hurtado nah, you'd say, hand me Oh, row ahava have tiny Oh,

invite you to gather the four corners of your seat seat if you are wearing them. And if you're not wearing them sit up a little bit straighter or whatever position you're in, find the way that you can breathe the most deeply. The way the four chambers of your heart can be with the most ease, your lungs can breathe with the most ease and hold those four corners of your seat seat. And I want to invite us now to think about places that feel farflung, even if they are right next door to each other ideas that feel far flung, even if they are held by neighbors. We bring the four corners of our Tsetse together as if to say in all the fragmentation in all the things that don't hold together and make sense that seem like they are in complete disarray. God is one we affirm God is one we affirm that oneness binds us as well in a common garment of destiny, that this Tallis, all of our people, and all people so we hold this with deep and abundant love, I have that Rob that I have Tanner

I want to just invite you to to hold whether you're holding actual seat seat, or just holding the paradox of that idea. To breathe into that paradox, not to need it to necessarily make sense in this moment, or emotionally to completely kind of lock like Lego pieces, or click

this is a faith statement that God is capacious enough and large enough to hold all of us to help all of us To give all of us patience and insight to teach us to help us learn lil mo Dooley Allah made leash more villa. So to the km. It's called the RE Talmud Torah bit ahava to inspire us to walk forward in our path as Jews they have

and if that feels hard, I just invite you to breathe into that invitation.

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I'm actually as our as our healing prayer this morning. I want to lift up a section of the Amida called Yeah, Olivia. VO We say it on Rosh Hodesh and on festivals. And as you see the translation here, yeah, lay rise up the VO COMM The idea? Get over here, the Euro a and see the euro, let's say and desire V Shama and listen, but use a cane and attend to. And remember all of the things that we have done worth remembering. And all of the things our ancestors have done, worth remembering, and holding up and loving and celebrating and giving us a little bit of their good fortune or good karma for having earned on the basis of all of the things that they did. And so I want to ask us to go ahead and pray now for anyone who needs healing. And anyone who needs a prayer. And I know that includes people in our community, who continue to struggle with chronic illness, with cancer, with all kinds of, you know, challenges to mental and physical health, including recovery journeys, infertility journeys, and I know that also includes people we are praying for right now who are wounded, and who, whose lives hang in the balance, which includes army reservists going into fight. So yeah, just go ahead and share it. If you want to share out loud you can share out loud and if you want to just drop it in the chat you may also

this also includes of course, every person among that I think 126 People who are still held captive in Gaza now 199

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George H Wilson and Mara Moran saizen. Aaron Martin and barbarian. Mark Judy, of Ashman Masha Celia on Linda Georgiana Ron Karen Susan or any Martin Miriam Sherry Israelis and Palestinians all the minion mamas everybody on Martin's list Martin pass on my love to my end Felicia was a long a long fended off fate I'm sorry I'm sorry they're suffering

all right

I'm gonna move this down a little bit because it's the morning

Yeah, La Vega level. There Yagi see. The year is the year that say he Shama ye Paki. He's the Fulani Aino Figoni New Jersey on the Mortain Yeah, la they have all their Yagi me the year I'd say you shall ma Yi pa K. Ye is this running off Edo Naina

the Z wrong Moshe van Daveed of dead because even on yet Lucia Emir good chef. dizzy from Hobby slow and they find that their face time tylee tov. Yeah, they they have all their Yagi. They hear. They hear I'd say the u shamarpa. U. K. He's running off his name. Flavors he 14th. The day? May this be a month of blessing and good health? And you could say I'm in?

May this be a month of prayer NASA of earning a good livelihood of supporting the causes you believe in? And of joy? You could say I mean,

I mean, Maine.

And may this be a month of deliverance and salvation. In so many ways, large and small.

I mean, oming

by next month, we'll get that in the liturgy here. We just like snipped a little piece of the prayer out for the song but All right, next month. All right, we now are going to move into Hallo because it's row Chodesh. And because part of our people's spiritual secret of survival is singing, and being able to pray even with joy in moments that are dark. And part of this constellation of psalms that is Hillel is a couple things. One, a section where we say I'm not I don't know who she is. I'm not I'm not I don't I had sleep hudna, which is like a desperate prayer from the depths of the soul for what you yearn for. And so I just, you know, sometimes it's rain, you know, sometimes it's sometimes it's a better economy, like, like, sometimes we have these moments of a collective cry. And so I want to I want to just, you know, I feel like in this moment, we've I know I feel like I am being asked to express my solidarity with the common fate of humanity or the fate of Israel. dailies are the fate of Palestinians in a way that in like a particular way that has a particular outcome, you know, and all of these are being suggested the different different outcomes are being suggested by people who desperately want what is good and best for people. Like really like, and not just Jewish people and not just Palestinians, but like, actually, you know, this being a venue for salvation and redemption for for everyone through this or that particular particular road. And I know I'm feeling right now, like I am out of my depth in terms of how do I, I can't I don't know the future. I don't know if you know the future. But so what I want to pray for, as we call out from the depths of the soul, is if not a particular political solution, a deep desire for peace. Knowing how absolutely unlikely that is, in this moment, how absolutely audacious that is, in this moment, to talk about that for me. I don't have other words, so as we go into Hillel, and we bring our tears to this and we bring our own sense of Journey to every one of these psalms that is the story of a journey of going out from a dark place to a place of expansiveness and light and the gratitude we offer for having made that journey in the past. I want to inject all that all of those memories into the possibility of the future if you were able to stand I invite you to stand

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I'm trying something on the fly here I was listening to Debbie Broza singing he Tov which is like an old Israeli peace song so now that's in my head and all of a sudden I want to see what happens if we try and I don't even know the chords I've never played it before

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this is the gateway to you let in all of us who seek to be righteous.

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I want to invite people to close your eyes and hold out your hands if you're wearing a Tallis, the customer has to go underneath or at least for me to go underneath as I say these words on set your heart on an intention for what it is you want to be answered what it is you want to be successful and maybe it's something not particularly specific but simply opening yourself up to a little bit of clarity a little bit of groundedness good health a sense of equilibrium

and you repeat after me and I sort of feel like enter it in the spirit of messiness. Feel free to unmute

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Alright, and we're gonna get to now turn up to Caddyshack tome. Orders, Kaddish and so I know. And that's Beth are here remembering. That's dad and husband. All right. Yes. Is this his yard site?

No, he died a few weeks ago.

Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you. Is there anything you'd like to share about him and his spirit and his memory

is that he was a man who lived a lot of his values in a way that set a good example for us.

Beautiful anyone else who's saying could you share tell mortar Scottish?

I'm saying for my mother, Muriel kornblut.

Ah, yeah. I'm going to show a picture I don't know if you can see it. It's hard.

Probably not can't really see it but you want to tell us who it is.

If you don't own lovey, she's a cousin of my friend I said I would say Kaddish for her. She was one of the first soldiers to fall last Saturday in Israel.

May her memory be a blessing? Anyone else?

Everyone who doesn't have somebody to say Kaddish for them? Anybody who wants to say Kaddish this morning who wants to lead us?

I'll need

you to get out of the IT COULD ashram a rubber Jamar deep breath to retell the unbelief mouth lotay both iPhone if you have a phone with a fee before beat your soil. Bye bye law of his mind. carvery V Maru, amen. Je la la nehama YouTuber Rafi stop the RV Drumond vida se the ta da vida la the it allows me to hood A sharp break a lot I mean call beer hot tub is sheer. Vanessa Mata Dami Ron Bo ma Diem real Hey Slama Raba means some I have a hyena Lena we'll call you sir I'll be Maru I mean names as Sharon the mama who your session long layover your call you're sorry I'll be I'll call you straight to Vail the

main May their memories be blessings Thank you Susan for sharing the name of the kid here locally This is the saddest story

alright to transition us into Rachel sharing a little bit and then if folks want to chat or ask questions or you know just spend a little time together we can I want to I want to transition us with I think the song that Gideon just posted in the chat without without going and checking the link I'm just gonna guess Gideon that it's that it's this one the dev sex men's version of this these words is that right I don't know if he's still here all right. I think this I think of this prayer as much as a prayer for peace because it is a prayer for insight for expanding our limited way of seeing things and expanding our narrow the narrowness in our hearts that we can sometimes discover lurks there and ask for to expand wide open.

Mee Mee Tsai karate nanny by Madhavi me hi me it's karate. Ah, Nanny bomb so then we go to here. Where is it? Ah.

I don't see where the rest of the Psalm is. And then I'll just sing it to

ah Nayeli low Euro my yes say yes. Really really low Euro. Oh my god. Sammy.

Hi. Hi. Hi

Oh, Rachel, Rachel, how are you? What's going on? What's your world like these days? So what do you want to share with us today

I want to share

Susan, thank you for, for bringing in mention of the six year old Palestinian American who was murdered, murdered in his apartment in Chicago, I read about that, also. And it's something that I want to acknowledge of just something I've been feeling as like, the grief, I have grief in so many different directions. That and it's almost like the grief feels in conflict. And something that I've been, I've been sitting with that, like, I want to study that in myself, because like, without getting into disc, discourse or argument, it's like, like, Grief can be grief, it doesn't need to be in conflict, even though like, quite literally, like, some of the things that I'm grieving for people that I'm grieving for are actively in conflict. But just acknowledging that as a as I imagine, it's something that is sitting with, with many of us here

of just of holding that in the feeling that you know, there's a there's a war there's, there's still

we still don't know moment to moment or day to day what will happen. But in general people I'm with here in Jerusalem, we began saying that like Su Su Hamza, Hamza like that it feels relatively safe, like, Of all the places I could be Jerusalem is like, like, physically. Not like it was last week. And so and there's also a guilt that comes over with that of like, as terrified as I was last week, because there were actual terrifying things happening like, in retrospect, today, I know that I was okay. And, and the circumstance now is different. So just acknowledging that because those feelings are all there and I have a great therapist here who I was able to meet with yesterday and and I've been really active in being in service and being in being in the act of doing when people say, How are you doing? The answer is Prakash I'm I'm doing. And I want to offer that as a as a really valuable tool of like, if you're feeling helpless, find some way you can help someone you can help even if it's like someone in your home who hasn't eaten yet today, or like, like, just find a way to help if you're feeling helpless, find something to

help, help.

And, but my therapists that, like she, she told me, she was good if you if you weren't, if you weren't feeling anger, sorrow, or fear, I would be worried about you, if you were just in the act of doing but so staying occupied with doing staying connected and community. And there's also like, I took on a role just before the hug game. It's funny, because a couple of weeks ago, the rabbi who I work with, at at the synagogue at the fuchsberg Center here in Jerusalem, we were like, well, we're going to have normal weeks next week. And it's it's not funny, but it's like I haven't been in a routine yet in this role. But we we have, it's everyone just looking at what resources there are and what needs there are, we have a synagogue building and there's the need of all of the kindergartens and preschools are still closed and elementary schools have been closed, but kids are learning online. And so parents are kind of like, needing something to do and needing something for their kid. And so we opened the synagogue to be a drop in family activity center. And there there's also American 18 year olds who are here and a gap year program who are just sort of sitting terrified, wandering, wanting something to do so. Yesterday, they helped with the kids and then it was clear that like the parents actually really needed support from the rabbi. I wasn't myself there yesterday, but my my colleague Rabbana VA was like, Oh, I'm happy I'm able to be here. For these parents who just want to talk to each other or talk to me and so we have like Coffee Corner kids activities and and I spent the morning there and it's so there's like the most obvious need I think was like local community like Rabbana VA who had the idea has a three year old son and knew what that need was for her and her own family. But we also have oh oh no, that's that is

okay, so relatively safe and I'm just gonna go to away from windows. But I was gonna say we have we have many families here in Jerusalem who fled their homes from the south. And so this morning I was doing arts and crafts and playing games with kids who are staying in a hostel near the synagogue my roommates oh shit oh my god. What do you

like it's on our roof

Should I turn my video off? But I'm just sick

shit is there somewhere you need to go to be more safe

you need to go to be more safe. You need to go say that

please go take care of yourself Rachel. You need to get okay.

Please please go to go on the street.

Yeah, the siren stopped that we have Iron Dome so there's one thing is is that it feels I'm sorry if this is really disturbing.

No, you need to be safe

Yeah, I'm gonna log off and I'll message Rabbi Lizzi when I when I'm able and and I love you all.

And we love you and where we feel love you Rachel be safe.

Thanks for being my help you Hello

It brings a whole new meaning to to the idea that we're with each other and each other's suffering and each other's Sar. You know,

my nephew, because the alarms went off for my nephew as well. They'd Shamash

yeah

hopefully he's okay. I'm sure he's fine.

I'm sorry. I when I talked to my family, they're in shelters. I mean, I should be used to this.

For everyone who's who's here right now for whom this is like maybe the first time you've had a moment like this on Zoom, like just kind of a, like a real time confrontation with what it feels like to have life interrupted by danger. And to actually like love somebody who needed to log off because she needed to go get shelter like, I don't know if anybody's having feelings that you just want to share and happy to have this space be a space for that because I know there aren't really that many spaces where you can share unformed thoughts and have people love you anyway.

I'm sitting right here by it. You can see the windows in the back.

And how we can do that here and she can't do that there. So just it's really difficult. I just pray for her and everyone

Oh, I sure Well I sure will send her our our love you know, let me read you something Miriam. Miriam shared the words of somebody whose words I'm frequently sharing

hang on close out with with this and attune. So, my friend Laya Solomon is the chief education officer for, for encounter. And encounter is an organization that for the past two decades in Israel has been bringing Jewish leaders which includes rabbinical students and rabbis, but also Federation leaders and day school heads and, you know, people in the position to teach has been bringing them into Ramallah, Bethlehem, Palestinian, they have run, you know, Palestinian cities to just understand what, what daily life in Palestine looks like, and to meet Palestinians who don't want to kill Jews, you know, who defy the who defy the what, what we have seen last week and are trying to make peace together. And this past week has been very hard for her as a peacemaker. For reasons that we've, that we have been discussing. And so, and I shared a little bit of what she shared last week, I want to and I want to share with you what she wrote, it's, it's a little bit long, but but I think it's insightful and meaningful and sort of on the juicy Rachel Rachel's comment is now Oh, no, what did say? She's okay. Oh, that's nice. Okay, good.

Just, it's, it's quiet. It's quiet here. I think Lizzi you're talking about what's happening in Palestinian territories, that's really important to talk about. I'm very concerned for them as well. I don't know if that's where you were. But here, this is happening. But also, I know that we have Iron Dome and the explosions I'm hearing. Most likely are the Iron Dome missiles exploding the rockets that come us or whoever else ends, explodes them in the air. And then it gets quiet, and we go on with our day. So as terrifying as that is, we have that sense of security that many other people don't have. So I'm gonna log off, by the way, happy for you to continue that conversation. Love you all. But

what's interesting is that isn't exactly where I was going. And, and you'll see, you'll see here. Okay, so Leah writes, it has been an incredibly hard week. First and foremost, of course, because of the trauma and grief the entire country is experiencing. Not just the trauma from the horrific events that happened nearly one full week ago, but the ongoing trauma that is happening non stop being worried sick about friends and still missing. Funeral after funeral after funeral after funeral after funeral of friends and loved ones and friends loved ones the overpowering adrenaline rushes in our system, with every siren, the neverending rumble of the jet planes overhead reminding us that the front line is right in our backyard. But in the intermittent periods when I've been able to emerge from flight, freeze, fight, flee freeze long enough to feel there is an entire other layer of difficulty that has been painful to navigate. Nearly all my energy since this awful new reality began has been focused on my utter horror and grief at the atrocities that Hamas and other terrorists wreaked upon my people. And at the pain we continue to feel as we learn more about their fates, the scale and magnitude is like nothing we've ever experienced. There's a strong voice inside of me telling me it's beyond valid to be focused on my own in this moment of unfathomable evil. At the same time, when I managed to sit quietly, long enough to breathe, I can hear a still small voice tugging at me from deep in my core, telling me that I do not want to be trapped in a narrow tunnel, where I have the only image where I have only the emotional capacity to hold my own people's pain. Because even in this horrific of Mo immense because because in this most horrific of moments, that is not who I want to be, because when I do emerge from this ongoing numbness of trauma and start to feel, I noticed the profound well of concern for my many Palestinian friends and colleagues in the West Bank, East Jerusalem and Gaza, and the millions of others I don't know whose lives have in different ways, have been also horribly impacted this week, to varying degrees. But the thing is, in this most devastating of moments when the land is permeated with pain, terror, trauma, uncertainty and fury, alongside an extraordinary groundswell of Israelis, from across every spectrum coming together against a common enemy, and when the loudest voices are those who confidently declare that they know exactly what is needed in this moment, it feels very hard to vocally reject false binaries and zero sum paradigms, and hold on to a paradigm that asserts unequivocally that our fates are intertwined, and that no people will be able to live in security and thrive in this land until we all can. That's kind of her usual, that's her usual line, especially in the absence of any easy answers about how to get there. So I have been simply sitting in this tension and this messiness, at a loss for how to speak it out loud. I do want to share this though. For the first two days, although I texted back and forth briefly with some of my Palestinian friends and colleagues who wrote with concern to check in, I didn't reach out. And then I picked up the phone. And the conversations I had with several people well, in no way simple. Were like a soft balm, they reminded me that I and we are not alone, that while the 1500 terrorists and their leaders and enablers were unequivocally evil, and the enemy of everything, and every one that is good, there are so so many others across Palestinian society, who long just as much as so many of us Jews do, for a better future for all inhabitants of this land. One of those dear partners shared a piece of wisdom, which was the first thing that helped me start breathing again. He told me that in the conversations he's had with Israeli friends and partners this week, some have been able to hold the complexity of speaking across very thick lines between our people, but others have not. Others, many of whom have been active in this field for years, or even for decades, were to shattered by last Shabbat massacre to be able to stay in conversation and relationship with their Palestinian colleagues right now. And he told me, you know, Leah, that's okay. That's okay. When something this big and shocking and horrific happens, he says, it's okay to take some time to be with ourselves with our own people to do the internal work our communities need in order to begin eventually, tentatively, healing, before we start picking up the pieces and rebuilding forward together again. He also reminded me that right now, it's okay to be patient and quiet. That a time will come maybe soon, maybe not for weeks or months, when we will find our words again. But that it's okay not to have them right now. That their absence in this most awful of moments doesn't mean we'll never find them again. It felt like such a gift, he offered me this permission to to not have to know, to not have the answers, to not be able to speak clearly. Just to be gentle with myself. And trust that eventually the words, the beginning of clarity, the beginning of the ability to start regenerating light amidst the great darkness will come. I'm holding on to that gift tight and offering it to anyone else struggling as we go into Chabad.

Can you please put the writers name in the chat?

Yes, absolutely. I also want to see if maybe this is something I can I don't know how to. I don't know how to copy the URL. Yeah, her name is Lana Solomon. Yeah, I find that she's a beautiful writer and a deep thinker. And she lives in Jerusalem. And she was the one I was talking about last week, who was just very honest, and was like, right now. Sorry, I can't think about anybody else. Gotta keep my family safe. And like, that doesn't make me a bad person. I don't think it makes me you know, like, doesn't make me a bad person. I don't think it makes me a bad person. You know, and, and we can hold it hold that and say, no, no, it doesn't. It's hard to imagine trying to hold even your own pain and grief in the midst of what we just saw Rachel go through and knowing that that's happening every single day multiple times a day yeah

thank you everybody

Yeah. Oh my people well should we close out with a close out with a prayer? And

I just want to add thank you for the prayers money. My nephew just texted me he said he's good, good good good good good good

you know what let's let's do Psalm 121 It's not one we often do in this Minion

and this was the psalm that communities are singing week after week after week for the safe release of Gilad shall eat the Israeli soldier who is captive for like five years. And so this kind of became like an anthem of freeing captives. So in that spirit

over sheer lemma a sigh si el Hari May I in yovel s Ri

is re Mei Mosh and will say Shama Ye Ye 10 mod rugelach. sharaf ah he nails oh yeah no they'll always shine show Mahi slow a Hashem he shum Rafa Shams yammie Natha yo mom Hashem ash, lawyer caca.

SME small small chef Hashem each month

l Hey, howdy may i As We May Masha Oh Sasha mie. You 10 LeMans read last year new I'm Shum, Reza. He Nan Shan Shan man he's Hashem Shaumbra Yan Yanni Matthaei. Yo mama Hashem.

Hashem Nisha, Cora small. Sheva shefa Hashem yesh mindsets ha. Man

may I do

may God

be your keeper and your protector? May the sun not smite you by day nor the moon by night? With the ever present protect you from all evil? May God guard your soul and God guard you're going out and you're coming in from now until forever, say amen. All right, everybody. I mean sending you on your way with blessings.

Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You think the day everybody

that's love. Bye.

Bye. Thank you everyone. Have a good day.