Traditional Trans Allyship: Orthodox Rabbi Mike Moskowitz

Mishkan invites you to our upcoming Pride programming, including a Pre-Shabbat Pride Happy Hour and Pride-Themed Friday Night Shabbat on June 24th. We will also be in the Chicago Pride Parade on June 26th — march with us!

Rabbi Mike Moskowitz is the Scholar-in-Residence for Trans and Queer Jewish Studies at Congregation Beit Simchat Torah, the world's largest LGBT synagogue. He is the recipient of  three Ultra-Orthodox ordinations while learning in the Mir in Jerusalem and in Beth Medrash Govoha in Lakewood, NJ. Oh, and he's good friends with our very own Rabbi Steven! That picture is of R'Mike laying hands on R'Steven during his ordination.

This sermon was originally delivered during the Saturday Morning Shabbat service on June 10th.  For upcoming Shabbat services and programs, check our event calendar, and see our Accessibility & Inclusion page for information about our venues. Follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates.

Produced by Mishkan Chicago. Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss.

Transcript

Transcript

Rabbi Steven Philp 
So I'm super excited to be joined by Rabbi Mike Moskowitz, who is not only an amazing educator and ally, he currently serves as the scholar in residence for trans and queer Jewish Studies at congregation Bates Simchat Torah, the LGBTQ Synagogue of New York City, one of the oldest and largest LGBTQ plus congregations in the world. He's also an amazing colleague and friend of mine, and it is a delight, a delight to have you here to talk a bit today about the theme of Pride Month ally ship, the work that you're doing, and maybe some things that we can be thinking about. Now that we're about halfway through this season of reflecting on both the joys but also the challenges that face the LGBTQ plus community. So so welcome.

Rabbi Mike Moskowtiz 
I thank you so much for having me. It is always a pleasure to be in conversation with you.

Rabbi Steven Philp 
I would love just because I know some of your story. But I think most people who are tuning in don't necessarily know some of your background. If you wanted to share how did you get into this space of thinking seriously about ally ship and work with the LGBTQ plus community? In particular, the trans and non binary gender queer communities?

Rabbi Mike Moskowtiz
Yeah, sure. It certainly wasn't on the syllabus. It might you Shiva. I studied in in Lakewood BMG. And in the mirror image line, the two largest you she was in a world and then Lithuanian, you know, right wing you she was. And then I was employed in New York City as a rabbi of an orthodox synagogue and I was doing Jewish outreach at Columbia University employed by these right wing organizations, when somebody in my family actually came out as trans and said, I'm not a girl, I'm a boy. And I was completely ill equipped, I had no idea. I said to him, What do you mean, I know, I'm a guy, how do you know that you're a guy the same way. And I started speaking to my rabbis, and it was very clear immediately that they had actually never met somebody of trans experience that they knew of, and you can't answer a question Jewish lon, so you understand the reality of the subject. And so I reached out to cache, which is a wonderful national organization out of Boston, and the gender studies folks at Columbia. And I really started to listen to the lived experiences and to recognize, as one student of mine who was trans at the time, said, No one's life is ever hypothetical. And one of the struggles as rabbis is that when we study the Talmud, everything's theoretical right? Person gets out of jail, or can give her there's only enough time to do one mitzvah, that that person doesn't have a pulse, that person doesn't have a face, that person doesn't have a heart. And so when there's a person, a human being created the image of the Divine, saying, I don't know where I fit in a tradition of gender based spiritual practice. Can you help me and I felt like I want to help you. But I have, I don't know what any of these words means. I don't know what you're saying, I don't understand any of it. And it took a couple of weeks before I got to what I think is a relatively evolved space of simply knowing that I don't know that as somebody who's cisgender, I have a limit, I have a limited awareness of gender to my body. And that space of knowing that I don't know has actually been deeply generative for me. We just celebrated truest in the verse says, whoa, hold on, right? Okay, let's the entire nation saw the sounds. Most people don't see the sounds, and most people don't notice the show. But there wasn't given for just most people, it was given for the most extreme of experiences for all of the people, there were no margins, there were no other. It was given to one person like one heart because it was only given to the nation. And so the tourist speaks to these ideas. And so I kind of started off on the quest, you know, to uncover and discover the Divine Will part of my theology is that material is immutable and eternal and infinite. And as a result, God spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai about these questions. And so that's really when I, when I started getting into it was about six years ago. And it's been an incredible journey. And I feel so blessed because what I've come to understand is that these experiences, even the language, which is always going to be deficient is never going to be as expansive as the experiences that come to describe are not limited to LGBT experiences, but they're not even limited to the human experience. They have their source in the Divine. I see, you know, the divine revelation is God's coming out speech. The first the 10 commandments is God letting us know who God is. And the sin of the golden calf is so horrific because just 40 days later, God's saying, I don't understand I told you I am what why don't why don't you believe me? Why are you erasing my existence as so the language that I think the the queer community, particularly the genderqueer community has offered to this conversation? I mean, there's a way in which very selfishly, like, I feel like they've been my ally, that like they've allowed me to understand God much in a much more holistic and incomplete way. And so you Part of what I think we all understand about ally ship is that it's awkward. Not just because it's predicated on people being dehumanized and often being objectified, but it's as elusive as it is aspirational. It's so person specific, that what can be really affirming and validating and supportive to one can, unfortunately be traumatic and even offensive to another. And as a result, I feel like sometimes people are hesitant to. And I think, for me, it was a big process of like, this is not my lane. It's just, I'm a rabbi, I'm straight, I'm says. And so part of part of the process that for me, it's very much still ongoing, is feeling a level of comfort of this is the right thing to do. And the awkwardness is less awkward than being silence and complicit in perpetuating all of the hurtful things that society supports.

Rabbi Steven Philp 
You know, I absolutely just want to circle back for like, 10 seconds, the image of of, of shovel woods of Revelation, which we just celebrated being God's coming out, um, but especially love how you link that to the sin of the golden calf was, I think the sin that maybe a lot of us can commit when somebody reveals who they are. And we hold on maybe the image, the idol of who we want them to be, or who we expected them to be. And like what a powerful metaphor, particularly around many people's experience of coming out of declaring ourselves and saying, No, this is who I am. And then really struggling with family members, loved ones, friends who kind of are, are having a hard time letting go of the image they constructed of who they who they expected us to be. I love that I'm gonna hold I'm holding on to that.

Rabbi Mike Moskowtiz
No, that's yours. You said it much better than I did. That's beautiful. Thank you.

Rabbi Steven Philp 
And I think one of the remarkable things too is, you know, you we've talked about Alysha being awkward because we're entering a space of not knowing of not having maybe all the answers of having to listen to people who are unlike us to ask, right, what is it that you need? Because I don't know, to be in that space of unknowing can be really difficult. We like we like to stay in the lanes that we know. Well. I think what's so remarkable about your story, though, is that you not only kind of left the lane that you knew so well, but you really entered very bravely, a space of not knowing and really just showing up. What's I mean, you are a deeply Jewish ly motivated person. So what's what's Jewish about about the act of allyship? We're in your Judaism does that does that kind of leaving your lane to enter the space of unknowing and and showing up in bring your presence? Where does that come from?

Rabbi Mike Moskowtiz
I love I love the way you asked that question. You know, it's so interesting, like, what do we know about God, but we know about anything, you know, the koozie rights to know God would be to be God, because God is infinite. And if we could understand the infinite, we'd have ourselves be infinite. So we we attach to the belief that there is this infinite source of the universe that is good. And I would say like, the one thing that we know about God is that God is one God, a singular goddess ephod. And that sense of unity, that sense of, of me being part of that source, that singular source, I think, is what motivates me to care if I want to have a relationship with God, as a parent, I need to take care of all God's children as my siblings, and when we look around the world like this is simply not the way in which one treats family. And I think part of the destruction that we observed in the last 2000 years in the temple is that we're all coming from a broken home now, like we because of that blatant hatred, and cynicism, we weren't able to coexist as a family. And so God refuses the to kind of be at the head of the table at home. And so a consequence of that is that, you know, we all took different parts of our tradition, and historically, the rates of learning in the left so you know, Tikkun Olam. And as a result, just we're all deficient. And so there's more holiness, when there's more people and there's more God when there's more unity. In fact, the rabbi's tell us to get my shovel out that it was because we were unified, that God was able to reflect God's self in each one of us to give us you know, that so I think what what draws me to Alisha, which in Judaism, I think the Hebrew word for allies would have air and other notions that his friend that actually needs to attach or something's attached to the ground somehow or the target. An author is a macabre, they attach words and thoughts and ideas to paper. And so that a keyboard that that connectivity is part of the covenants of of aravis for each guarantors for the other. And if somebody's not suffering, if somebody's suffering, that means that like there's an aspect of me that suffering and so a lot of it is a function of networking, the needs and the resources. And I think what ultimately note motivates me is that I don't think there's a there's a more powerful or efficient or intimate way of showing When God how much we care about God, than by taking care of God's creations,

Rabbi Steven Philp 
and he reminded me, I attended a reclaim Pride March this past weekend, that was focusing on centering some of the voices that tend to be marginalized within the LGBTQ plus community. And in particular, the focus was on trans voices, and in particular, on black and brown trans voices, particularly trans woman, who tend to really bear the greatest burden of, of discrimination, of hatred of violence, of any element of the LGBTQ plus community. And the point. The point was that if we show up for and take care of the most marginalized, the most vulnerable, that the issues that affect them really, really affect us all. And in doing the Tikun and doing the fix of protecting and holding and uplifting those folks, we're, you know, we're all, we're all beneficiaries of that, rather than kind of the trickle down approach of focusing on the issues, right, that maybe only affect the most privileged or the most powerful. The question I had there, though, is, so much of our ally ship feels in this moment, as as reactive. Yeah, you know, we, you know, we're finding out that, you know, black and brown trans woman are the most vulnerable in our community, and all of a sudden, we're reacting to reality that they've lived with their entire lives. And I know you have some thoughts on this Sure, the reactivity of ally ship, and maybe maybe a better approach that we could be taking?

Rabbi Mike Moskowtiz
Yeah, you know, even in English, like, the word ally, is often used, like on this side, being against this side, it's the Allied powers, and because of the Latin to bind, like an alloy, but I think within the Jewish tradition, one of the one of the contribution is it makes it the conversation is that it's meant to be restorative, that if we were all connected, like one person with one body with one heart, it never would have gotten this bad. And so I think a restorative model, we are where we're so aware of what's going on within humanity, right within our Earth, that our fingers are on the pulse all the time that we would, we would never allow, like voter suppression, mass incarceration, climate, all of the things to get to where they are right now. And then, like the fact that that shocking to us, right, that, you know, the, the average life expectancy of a trans woman of color is so low, like, like that should be shocking to us is itself a symptom of the fact that that we are complicit in the othering. Because we don't even know that they exist. We didn't know that to be true. I think what Judaism asks of us is that there should be no other How can there be another right? If their children are less significant than our children? Right, then then we don't see them as God's children. So you know, there's a great verse by Joseph and his brothers, the verse testifies that they the brothers saw him from afar and sought to do him harm. From a distance, it's much easier to dehumanize and society tells us, right, those are not your people, right? Those those people live in a different zip code, they speak a little bit differently. They don't go to the same schools that you go to read it. I mean, I've heard people say that the greatest indicator of success, it's not about the person's IQ, it's versus about the business zip code, right? Like, where do you live? Right? It's, you know, do you have access to food? Right? Do you have access to basic resources. And so one of the things that's so difficult in this society is that it perpetuates this caste system, and also the inability to either even gain access to the lived experiences. And so there's no substitute for that relationship building, you know, all organizing is really reorganizing. Right? And so I think part of what the ask is, is if you don't know, a trans woman of color, right, so then, like, whose fault is that? Right? Like, if you don't know somebody who's you know, incarcerated right now, like, like, and therefore, like, you don't understand how bad the system is, like who's falling like, it's, it's obnoxious to ask those who are already oppressed, right, and already struggling to dig deeper, to make it easier for us to be able to understand how we shouldn't feel guilty about our lives that looks so unrecognizably different. And so like, if we care, right, like, just like rabbis can answer questions. And so we know the reality of something. You can't be an effective contributor in society, right? When just easy way to think about this is that when this country was formed, the only people who had power were white men. And over time, some of that has changed. But like the starting point is that if you weren't that, really Christian, you you weren't part of it. And so there's so much work to be done. And for people who feel like oh, well, I've made it I'm okay like it not about you. Right that the privilege is not something to feel to feel guilty or shamed about but it but but it is a commodity. It is something that that should make you feel encumbered to the extent that any of us have the ability to do something he said, he said that we're responsible, and we all have the ability to do something because God wouldn't put us in this world. If we were extra, if if this world didn't need us, we wouldn't be here. There's no such thing as extra people. So that's really the question. And I think that's how he'll frames it in a newly mealy vein, not for myself, and will be for me, because nobody else is me. So part of the work of being an ally is actually like, knowing what can I bring to the table like, we are all so resourced in different ways of being talented and gifted and, and just in proximity to the people in our families, that there's a lot that we can do. But if we don't recognize our own resources, and we don't really recognize the needs of the moment, so then like we have nothing to work with,

Rabbi Steven Philp 
you reminded me so much of a lesson that I took from our mutual colleague, Robert Sharon Kleinbaum, the senior rabbi of cbsd, who is so often said, right that if you're if you're alive at this moment, it's because you have something to bring the world that is needed. And and that's such a it's such an important and really radical lesson of our tradition. I apologize to the Mishkan. Knights, you've heard me say this a million times. This is one of my probably core teachings. But I think it's because it's so important, which is it's amazingly radical that our tradition begins with the creation of the entire world. And in that creation narrative, because so many of the other ancient Near Eastern Christian narratives really focus on on the beginning of a people right, Babylonians, Sumerians, etc. But like, like our tradition, like Jews don't show up for a few chapters, like we actually begin with everybody. And in that kind of mythic accounting of creation, and we make this incredibly radical assertion that a we all have the same origin, all human beings, and be right, that origin is the divine image. We had a really great conversation around shovel. Whoa, I was challenging some some folks that think of whether the 10 commandments were sufficient or not. And we looked at a few of the proposals, right, that the rabbi's made of like, kind of additional commandments and right, one of them is, is, you know, these are the generations of Islam, right, that that the statement that we're all created, from the same source that none of us can say, right, my ancestor was greater than your ancestor, right? So that none of us can say, you know, that I'm more worthy, or more, more valuable than you, right? Because we all we all come from the same place, I think speaks really strongly to the messages that you're that you're sharing.

Rabbi Mike Moskowtiz
Absolutely. And there's just like, one, like, super powerful observation is that when, if you look at the Genesis narrative, God created billions of you know, bugs, and, you know, each according to their own kind of billions of trees, each according to the billions of fish, and all the things, but when it comes to people, there are different kinds of people, right, there's just one person. It's exactly to your point that we all come from the same, but, but there's something like that. It's not just that we all come from the same, but we all really are the same, you know, and I think we're so much more similar than, than we are different in any possible way. And I think the more that we feel, that sense of responsibility, that I'm not okay with what's happening in the humanity that I am part of, right, doesn't make a difference where it's happening, that it's happening is disturbing.

Rabbi Steven Philp 
Going up, down. So I'm curious, um, because ally ship is awkward, because it, it's coming into a space where we don't have the answers, maybe where we actually need to give up some of our control that we're used to, and maybe even give up some of the privilege or the power that we're used to holding. And I say this as a cisgender, white male, that you know, that those those spaces are not for me to center myself. And that can be really hard to kind of like, like, let go of that control. And then to say, like, I don't know, actually, I don't have the answers. But another challenge of ally ship is the fact that sometimes we have to sit at the table with people with whom we disagree with people who maybe don't understand some of the pain or the brokenness that we carry into that space, as Jews, for example. I wonder if you have any thoughts on that, that kind of challenge of Alysha because we've seen so much fracturing missions. You know, even even the fact that I was at the Reclaim Pride March was because right there's been fracturing in the LGBTQ community around corporate sponsorship and police presence and racism and and all really important issues, but we like a pulling apart of cola.

Rabbi Mike Moskowtiz
Yeah, it's a real struggle. I mean, I had this yesterday. One of my best friends from yeshiva was involved in setting up in New York City and event with the governor of Florida. It was a Jewish event. So we spoken there were protests and It's hard, because we're supposed to love each person. And when we feel this deep clarity of how wrong they are now hurtful and harmful, it is it takes extra work to say I don't love you less, because you're actually wrong. I think there's space between intention and an impact. There are people who are as an extreme example, I mean, they're people who are homophobic because they think that God is homophobic, and they're not taking Brazil to terrorism or phobic. So do you want from me? I think there's a unique challenge. And even that extreme example of saying, You're not less human than I just because you, you know, you're trying to dehumanize me, I'm not going to reciprocate. And I think in the last 50 years, we've seen so much greater advancement around LGBT issues, as opposed to, let's say, around racial equity equality, because when you can get to know somebody and find out that an amazing human and then come to learn that they're trans or queer. So then it forces you to, and challenges you know, once on stereotypes and, and prejudices, where when it comes to presenting with a particular skin color, often people come with those things never allow for it. So when we separate and we say, Listen, I'm not going to be in conversation with you, because you see the world differently than I, you perceive the world differently. You move the world through the world differently. We're not making it easier at all. And and there's a way in which it's, we're just repackaging the hate, right? So there's this great teaching that I have from one of my Rephaim that the rabbi stated the order of Abdullah, the ceremony of separation from the Sabbath, the weekday was established in the afternoon, there was a city of scholars, but there's also a it's an anagram, it's a it's a, an acronym for the eye in there. But something read the order of dollars, suppose yagna. But he also wanted to say how politically that there's an order of separation, right? A person says something that you don't like, you can't walk away, you have to like to walk away from somebody to move away from somebody, you have to first try to engage, you know, let's grab some coffee and grab a drink. Right? If casually, that doesn't work. So let's you know, the the Nair is the cerebral intellectual, but with the world of ideas, do you want to live in a place where like, there's no room for anyone, but you like there needs to be the diversity of humanity, because humanity is diverse, anyways, is that the only time we can really walk away from somebody is when we can't walk any closer. And it used to be that a person observed the world differently. That was intriguing. I'm curious, I want to understand how you came to these conclusions. And that invited the conversation and now it like precludes that. So we all have something to learn from each other. And sometimes, unfortunately, that is negative. We're seeing a lot of backsliding sledding in this country. And it's really worth doing a deeper dive to understand why that is, but it's not going to get better if we disengage it just isn't. And so I think part of the framework that I find to be helpful theologically is, the more difficult it is, the more an act of resistance is right to sit there to be at a table with people who don't want you to be there is itself a powerful act of unity and solidarity, which is a an act of resistance against those who are trying to other US, and I'm not willing to give up on you. And you know, you can't feel that it would be doable for the people reciprocate.

Rabbi Steven Philp 
And I really appreciate that framing, I love the half dollar, or the use of half dollars this this recognition of difference, but also when a accommodates right, the both need to engage. But I really appreciate what you also said, which is that sometimes separation is necessary when you can't walk any closer and also recognizes that there are moments when for one's own safety, one's well being you may have to choose to distance yourself a little bit but then when when we are in a space where maybe we're uncomfortable but not unsafe. Right that's maybe when we do Lean in a bit more and say look, I'm gonna show up for this person, even though I may be vehemently disagree with with their stance. So I think it's it's a good place to pause the pause the conversation for now, I already know having spent many years working the same building as you and sneaking down to your office to pop in for like a 10 minute chat that would then turn into like an hour and a half chat. Where are these conversations and go because you just you carry so much wisdom and so much heart in a way that is just a blessing to us all. But thank you again for joining us and for sharing of yourself and I wanted to leave off with a small anecdote, which is when when we're ordained as rabbis, we often choose the teacher whom we want to have lay their hands on us and kind of put the put that official stamp if you will, right this kind of chain of truth. question that's gone all the way back all the way back to Moses and Joshua, of designating leaders in our community, one generation to the next. And for those of you who don't know, I chose, I chose Rabbi Mike to be to be the person to do that for me, because you really embody, I think what it means to be a rabbi and a Jew, which is to, to take great risks for standing up for what's right. And though your journey is just such a testament to that came at the cost of a lot. But in, in return for everything you've given, you've created so much space in our community, for those who, who felt for a long time, they don't have a home here. So what a blessing.

Rabbi Mike Moskowtiz
Thank you so much. And that has been one of the highlights of my rabbinic career was, was that moment when you were on stage and, and just, yeah, just to reaffirm that the space actually belongs to you this space belongs to people and that there's some pride in Judaism that needs to be reclaimed as well. So thank you again for this opportunity. And it's always a pleasure.

Rabbi Steven Philp 
Absolutely. Thank you.