Sobriety and Serenity — Ricky Halle-Podell

Today’s episode is a Shabbat Replay of our service on May 8th when we heard a guest drash from Builder Ricky Halle-Podell. As part of our Sober Shabbat in which we had a sober kiddush, Ricky spoke on his own sobriety journey, offering insights into the spiritual practices of recovery programs which we can all learn from.

***

For upcoming Shabbat services and programs, check our event calendar, and see our Accessibility & Inclusion page for information about our venues. Follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. To support Mishkan's important work of creating radically inclusive, down-to-earth, inspired Judaism, we invite you to join as a Builder or donate today.

https://www.mishkanchicago.org/support/be-a-builder/

https://www.mishkanchicago.org/support/makeyourgift/

Produced by Mishkan Chicago. Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss.

Transcript

Transcript

00:00:00:03 - 00:00:03:06
Unknown
when people ask a friend, why do you come to Mishkan?

00:00:03:07 - 00:00:26:17
Unknown
They don't say for the wine after the service. I don't it's a big investment to make, you know of. Time for a glass of wine afterwards. But. But somebody did say to me a couple weeks ago. Why is the only alternative to wine? Sparkling water. You know, if you're if you're a person who keeps, you know, if you're trying, you know, but it's not as fun as a glass of wine is for you.

00:00:26:17 - 00:00:58:03
Unknown
But, you know, and it was just shining a light on the reality that in Jewish spaces, alcohol is often taken for granted as just a part of the culture. It's often, you know, said at weddings, with every joyful occasion we raise a glass of wine. And it is true historically. And also there are. It is also a reality that that is actually quite challenging for people invisibly now and throughout history.

00:00:58:05 - 00:01:24:14
Unknown
And for a long time, that was something that was a secret. And people kept that secret quietly and personally and didn't talk about it. And there was sort of a myth like alcoholism doesn't exist in the Jewish community, you know? Right. I don't know if people heard that, like, but yeah, and it's patently not true, but it's also true that it's not something that's talked about a lot.

00:01:24:14 - 00:01:49:07
Unknown
And so one of the things that we really try to do with the work of Maggie's Place is lift up and talk about things that are real and happening in people's lives that often, you know, go undiscovered and do it with humanity and with love and with humor and with a sense of being really held in community. And so this Shabbat was born out of that desire.

00:01:49:09 - 00:02:11:14
Unknown
And it actually it really requires bravery for anybody who's going to come and talk about, you know, something that's an issue where people are often not used to talking about it out loud. So I want to just want to say to Ricky, who's going to be our darshan tonight, our sermon giver, our speaker, thank you for saying yes.

00:02:11:16 - 00:02:37:20
Unknown
Ricky makes the schlep from Oak Park, not just for Shabbat, but he helps lead our morning minyan. He is a real spiritual and community leader in this in this community. And I think when he speaks, you will see why. And it is a real honor to partner with you in building this inspired, down to earth Jewish community. I just want to say thank you for your words tonight.

00:02:37:21 - 00:03:02:22
Unknown
Yeah. A few weeks back, when Rabbi Steven and Rabbi Lizzie reached out to me to say, well, we're going to have a sober Shabbat. Would you be willing to speak? And I'm like, okay, you know, it's typically like these kind of things. You're in an anonymous. So I'm going to make a little shift here. So what we're going to do is we're going to take this because I know it sounds like there might be some other people that maybe, you know, in the sober community.

00:03:02:23 - 00:03:26:02
Unknown
So we're going to take this Shabbat service and we're going to shift it into what's considered an open meeting. So in the recovery community, there's lots of different meetings you've got. Excuse me. You got your AA, which is like Alcoholics Anonymous. You got your Na, Narcotics Anonymous, you got your Ma. This is a good one for a lot of people.

00:03:26:03 - 00:03:58:01
Unknown
Marijuana anonymous is just kind of new and very important. You got OCA or or is it 8:00 something? Adult children of alcoholics. You've got your Al-Anon, which is another really important, you know, 12 step program for anyone who may be has a loved one or someone in their life that is, you know, having issues with drugs, alcohol or any various addictive issues.

00:03:58:03 - 00:04:14:07
Unknown
You got cocaine anonymous. The list goes on. You know, it reminds me, I don't know. Some of you are probably at the age that you remember the show or the movie, the fight club. You know, where the guys like going around. He's going to all these different meetings. So I would like to shift this because it makes me feel more comfortable.

00:04:14:07 - 00:04:32:16
Unknown
If we think about this as an open meeting. A closed meeting is one that's only for people who are in the recovery community. So now I'm going to say, okay, we're having a closed meeting. So in a recovery meeting, typically the way it starts is like someone would introduce themselves and then everyone. You've probably seen this in the movies.

00:04:32:17 - 00:05:05:20
Unknown
And I was like, so I say, hi, my name is. And then you say hi, right. So hi, my name is Ricky. I'm an addict. And you say, Ricky, there you go. Okay, so the reason I say addict is because I have some serious addictive personality issues. And, you know, some people might even say obsessed. So for me, the thing about addiction and is and sobriety, sobriety itself, let me just define that.

00:05:05:20 - 00:05:39:16
Unknown
First of all, for me, sobriety is about balance. It's about living a mindful life of self-reflection and surrounding yourself by people who are trying to live their best life without the use of mind altering substances. And I say addict because, you know, there are so many things that are addictive. You know, alcohol, okay. Marijuana, you know, even though it's legal, it's still addictive.

00:05:39:18 - 00:06:04:16
Unknown
You know, sugar, you know, for me, it's it's not about the drug or the alcohol and the recovery scene. They always talk a lot about how it's a thinking disease. It's not about the drug or the alcohol. But for me, it's also it's a it's a disease of more. It's like anything that makes me feel good, anything that gives me a little bit of that dopamine or just like, you know, I want more of it.

00:06:04:16 - 00:06:25:22
Unknown
So it's like, you know, I go through these phases first. It's like fishing. And man, you know, my, my YouTube algorithm will have a lot of fishing videos in there. And then, you know, from there it's like guitars. And I've got a lot of guitars now. And actually I noticed the pattern in my reverb. Reverb is an app where you can go in and purchase.

00:06:26:00 - 00:06:49:17
Unknown
He knows I'm talking about, you know, and and I was like, wait a second, I bought a guitar in 2018, in like September and then another one in August and then in October. And I'm like, wait a second. What is that about? So, you know, it's about oh, that's an anniversary period for me. So with addiction, I really think that it's, it's, it's it's the thinking disease.

00:06:49:17 - 00:07:10:22
Unknown
It's how you choose to go through and deal with life. For me, that was the anniversary of my mother's passing. She passed away when I was 15. And so I'm very mindful that this period of time around August, it could be a triggering time. So like that is an example of all of a sudden I was filling something up.

00:07:10:22 - 00:07:32:12
Unknown
My wife, thank you for being here always talks about this, this idea of a God sized hole, you know. So for me lately it's pickleball. So like, you know, I mean, I'm playing a lot of pickleball. I've gone through a transition in life, so I'm like semi-retired and I have a lot more time. My dad passed away in September.

00:07:32:13 - 00:07:52:03
Unknown
There's all these things. How am I dealing with life, you know, how am I going to deal with it? Well, I'm not going out to the garage and pulling out my one hitter. You know, I'm not, you know, excessively drinking, but I'm finding something that it's making me feel good. And it's the more I want more. So, you know.

00:07:52:04 - 00:08:18:14
Unknown
So right now, I like to say that I'm. I'm filling up my God sized hole. One pickleball at a time. But, so, you know, the thing about the recovery community is there's, you know, there's there's a lot of parallels within Judaism. And it actually, by being in recovery.

00:08:18:16 - 00:08:47:01
Unknown
Thank you. It actually brought me closer to my spiritual practice, because they always say in recovery that it's a spiritual program. And, you know, what does that mean? And, you know, it's a lot of people go to these these 12 step meetings. There's a lot of God in the word. But the thing I really like about the recovery community, similar to Judaism, you know, they they allow you to create a God of your own understanding.

00:08:47:03 - 00:09:20:00
Unknown
And the thing I love about, like in Judaism, you know, like the Native Alaskans who have so many words for snow, we have so many words for God, whether it's like Elohim, you know that that presence, indwelling presence of godliness here on this plane, you know, that may manifest like the Shekinah, the feminine aspect of God, or the Yiddish, that unpronounceable term that is that all was, all will be, and all you know is now.

00:09:20:03 - 00:09:44:11
Unknown
So the spiritual aspect of the program. So my one of my first sponsors, he asked me is like, so do you pray, do you know how to pray? And I'm like, no. And then I'm like, well, let me think about that for a second. And I was like, yeah, actually I do. And, and I when I stepped back, I was like, it was when I was a kid and I went to the Jewish camp and, you know, we played guitar.

00:09:44:13 - 00:10:08:15
Unknown
Oh yeah. We got some. Yeah. There you go. I met my wife and I was really. How about that, Sophie? All right. And most of those are really good anyway. Yeah, I was the. I was the waterfront director. She was the drama specialist. That was a that's our Harry met Sally moment, you know, another older movie reference there for you people.

00:10:08:16 - 00:10:36:19
Unknown
Anyway, so I reminded me, yeah, I do know how to pray. And so what I started to do is I picked up my guitar and I started playing those songs, and I, and I kind of created my own practice, and it brought me back to this component of, like, my own personal spirituality. And so, you know, there's there's this component within recovery that I really love what they talk about.

00:10:36:19 - 00:10:57:16
Unknown
It's like filling up your spiritual bank. And so it's like, what are the things that we do to fill up that spiritual bank? We're all here tonight. And I don't know about you, but I feel pretty. My cup is pretty full. So I want to tie this into the Torah portion. And Rabbi Lizzie talked a little bit about this with, you know, the meta year.

00:10:57:16 - 00:11:23:23
Unknown
That's what comes up in our Torah portion this year. It's this seven year cycle where we have to not farm the land. And what happens is, is that throughout this whole year, we're supposed to take benefit from that, which just happens. So we've spent all this time tilling the land, working the land. I don't know if anybody's a gardener and you have tomatoes that come up there.

00:11:23:23 - 00:11:55:21
Unknown
I think they're called volunteer tomato plants. Right. And so like that plant would grow. And then this year you'd still be able to use that and harvest in your, you know, the apple tree. So I think of this concept with the year similar to this practice in recovery of like filling your spiritual bank and then, you know, whatever it does to fill you up so that you respond and don't react in life.

00:11:55:21 - 00:12:22:04
Unknown
And for me, things that I do to fill up my spiritual bank in recovery, go to a meeting, surround myself by like minded individuals who are dealing with lots of challenges. You know, typically a meeting would involve, you know, you know, I got a guy who's tats up his arms, you know, he's a painter, another guy who's a a, you know, a fireman, a woman who, you know, single mom.

00:12:22:05 - 00:12:46:12
Unknown
It's of all shapes, colors and creeds, but surrounding myself by people who are sharing from their heart and and listening and hearing that really is one of those components. Or calling someone on the phone or speaking to my sponsor, or going to morning minyan or driving an hour to go to this last three weeks of the Kabbalah class.

00:12:46:16 - 00:12:55:22
Unknown
You would. If it was only a 1030, it would have only taken me 35 minutes. And the suggestion for next time now.

00:12:56:00 - 00:13:22:08
Unknown
But so. Duly noted. Thank you so for me that this idea that these these things can relate in living a balanced, spiritually fit life. You know, my friend Ramil bought me to fill in and I started donning to fill in. And then Covid came, right. And then all of a sudden we had morning minyan online, and then I could be a part of that community too.

00:13:22:08 - 00:13:34:20
Unknown
So, let me check my notes.

00:13:34:22 - 00:14:04:03
Unknown
Yeah. So okay. With this year, we're we're we've we're we're bearing the fruit. We're, we're able to live off of these things that we've really put our effort into for those six years. So for me, I think I want to wrap this up with this idea of May we all think about how we fill up our spiritual cups, what do we do on a daily basis beyond this wonderful Shabbat?

00:14:04:03 - 00:14:34:14
Unknown
And what can we do to make ourselves be more balanced so that we don't miss the mark? Actually, I do want to talk about this because to Shiva, this is very much related to recovery. And it's the idea of like making amends. And it doesn't just happen on Yom Kippur. So, you know, in Europe where you go to people and say, I'm sorry if I did something wrong to you.

00:14:34:14 - 00:15:03:03
Unknown
So this idea of tissue, which so relates to this, is that the idea of we have the you'd and the hey and the valve and the hey of God's name. So Rabbi Gordon of blessed memory, who teaches the Tanya through Kabbalah cities. It's a great podcast. And basically, how do you use these Jewish daily lessons on a daily basis?

00:15:03:03 - 00:15:35:09
Unknown
And it's also the mystical. And he talks about how when we miss the mark or talk nasty to our wife because we're on steroids and we're really anxious. So I had to do some tissue yesterday. And anyway, so if we do this and we miss the mark, we are exiling the final hey of God's name. And that final hey, is that China, that indwelling presence that's here on this plane?

00:15:35:09 - 00:16:07:03
Unknown
But then when we make an amend or write that wrong or recognize what we've done wrong, we tissue hey, we return the hey to God's name. So may we all find ways that we can find balance. Fill our spiritual cups. And I'm going to end there and ask, in the spirit of this open meeting that we all stand, because this is how a meeting would end.

00:16:07:05 - 00:16:47:23
Unknown
And if you could hold hands with the person next to you, I give it an invitation. Right? Great. Hello. And we'll just take a moment here to send out some healing energy, some thoughts to those suffering here or possibly outside this space with maybe five deep breaths.

00:16:48:01 - 00:17:11:23
Unknown
And we're going to end with a prayer. Many of you may know the Serenity Prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Keep coming back. It works if you go to Michigan. I mean, I'm man, I should.