I Am Becoming Who I Am Becoming

Every weekday at 8:00 am, Mishkan Chicago holds a virtual Morning Minyan. You can join in yourself, or listen to all the prayer, music, and inspiration right here on Contact Chai.

https://mishkan.shulcloud.com/form/reg-morning-minyan-evergreen

Registration is open for High Holidays at Mishkan! Whether you attend in-person or via our affordable, state-of-the-art livestream, you can count on Mishkan’s High Holiday services to strengthen and inspire you as we face a new year of challenges and opportunities. Tickets go fast, so save your seat today!

https://www.tickettailor.com/events/mishkanchicago/1790206

This episode features Aly Halpert's "Loosen" and "Ana El Na Refah Na Lah", as well as Miriam Margles' (Ashrey HaAm).

Produced by Mishkan Chicago. Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss.

Transcript

Transcript

Registration is open for high holidays at Mishkan, whether you attend in person or via our affordable state of the art live stream, you can count on Mishkan high holiday services to strengthen and inspire you as we face a new year of challenges and opportunities, tickets go fast, so save your seat today. There's a link in the show notes.

All right, good morning, everybody. Yesterday, Anne Merle came to the Mishkan office and did like a half an hour myofascial release massage with balls and blocks for the 18 staff members at Mishkan. We were lying on the floor. She had us laying with balls in our armpits, stuck a block under our head, did some good breathing, some physical sighing. Anyway, at the very, very end, she kind of gave us free free play time, you know, to just like, go into doorways and stretch arms and take the ball and lean into walls and really, like, feel the fascia in our you know, a tight fascia in our bodies, kind of like loosening and releasing. And she said that this song that she heard for the first time on Friday night with Allie Halpert at Mishkan, felt like it was the theme song of myofascial release. So in the spirit of just weaving together all of the all of the things that happen, all the things we hear that that you know, sort of filter in and then stay with us, and then maybe even change our lives in ways that we can't predict, but then we have the ability to share. So now I'm going to share this back with you. I'll play the I'll play the video of Ali singing this with her little crew of rising song folks, I feel like you guys have met them already. I was really nice to see those of you who came on Friday night and while she's singing, you will see me like putting on my talus, and, you know, having that kind of moment. So if, if you're waiting to put on your tallit, I am going to be doing it well while we're watching, while she's singing, all right? And I would also say while she's singing, think about moda knee, moda nila, like waking up, being grateful. And if you want to loosen, loosen body parts, loosen fingers loosen. You know, neck roll your head, that invitation is here.

Loose and loosen baby. You don't have to carry the weight of the world in your muscles and bones. Let go, let go, let go. Loose and loosen. Baby, you don't have to carry the weight of the world. In your muscles and bones, let go, let go, let go. Loose and loose. And Baby, you don't have to carry the weight of the world in your muscles and bones. Let go, let go.

Loose and loose and baby, you don't have to carry the weight of the world in your muscles and bones. Let go. Let go. Let go. Holy Breath

and holy name. Will

you ease? Will you ease this pain, Holy Breath

and holy name. Will you ease? Will you ease this pain? Loose and loose. And Baby, you don't have to carry the weight

of the world in your muscles and bones. Let go. Let go. Let go. Loosen, loose and loose, and maybe you don't have to carry the weight of the world and your muscles and bones. Let go. Let go in all

land in holy name, will you ease this space? O holy rest. Will you ease this place?

Day, will you ease me? You

don't have to pay you Oh, be You

slave, is this pain, loosen, loosen. Baby. You don't have to carry the weight of the world and your muscles and bones. Let go. Let go. Let go. You. And

go, I feel like that's a good Kavanaugh for Elul. Also, you don't have to carry all the crap from whatever's been, whatever's been corroding the ability to be fully joyful, fully free, fully you know, if you have the ability to take a moment to think about what might that be and how might I shed it exfoliate, it won't happen overnight. Oh, minion. Tears, nice Jed, yeah, but it's a good invitation for the month of Elul. All right, let's move into ASHRAE and use this as a gratitude, as a gratitude opening. So feel free in the chat. Oh, link in the chat. All right. Well, Jill, I have already closed it on I've closed the window on my screen, but maybe somebody else can pull it up. Just, um, just search ally, helper, loosen YouTube, you'll find it right away. There you go. Ah, thanks. All right.

ASHRAE, Yosh, Bay, Tay,

oh yeah, hallelujah, oh yeah, hallelujah,

all right, so this is a good moment to drop into the chat, like, what is something that's a great object of focus and gratitude, something you might want to come back to if you find that your mind is wandering to places that are maybe less grab, less grateful. You know, you have a tendency to focus on things that are wrong, and you know, in order to fix them, sometimes we need to, but also sometimes it's just a habit. Sometimes it's just a groove we get stuck in. So think it helps to take a moment to think about something good for me to direct myself toward, or an intention I have. It's a good intention, and I want to articulate at this moment in the day i Ah,

I don't know

the. If I call the side,

shame could show Leo. Ma

Hallelujah. Hallelujah, hey.

Oh, yeah, hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

Oh, I'm so I'm so moved by everybody's different directions of gratitude. You know, from simply having a beautiful September day in DC to the availability of Allie Halpert songs in sound in Spotify and online, but you can download and pay for them, if you want on Bandcamp, that way, you support the artist. Many folks grateful for this Minion and grateful for this space to sing and share and think and reflect and be and be Jewish and, you know, grateful for the fact of personal growth. Yeah, isn't that amazing? I think it really is amazing. It's absolutely incredible that we are not doomed and resigned to repeat all the patterns that have sometimes gotten us in trouble that actually we can change. It's pretty powerful. Pretty powerful. All right, I'm going to keep going, and I have found myself here at barku. So if you want to stand up, great, if you just want to sit up a little bit straighter and bow your head, I think that's what I'm feeling this more, okay, now, now, now, all right, that's me being lazy. I'm gonna stand up do it. All right. You know it's like when you hear yourself being a little bit lazy and justifying justifying your laziness, like, all right, all right, I can do it. I can do it. Okay. Take the moment to maybe stretch out some of those bones and ligaments and fascia gently. All right. Facing east here Baruch Hu Ah, let's see Baruch Hu et Adonai, Hamme vora,

I don't know, Baruch

atah,

Adonai, Elohim yozer or Uber chef, Oh say, Shalom over Ray at haul um,

what was I just thinking about? About exactly the thing that we were talking about, about changing, about evolving. It says something about the bar who, in my mind, oh, man, I don't remember what it was. Okay. Maybe I'll think of it later. Or Hadash altitude, Hadas, oh, I remember what it was. It's like God's name, God's very name, which I think we should look at over here with the Shema, because unless, yeah, there we go. This name. You know when Moses says God, what? Who are you? You know when the Jewish people ask me, who are you? What should I tell them? And God says, A, he, a, share a, he, A, which means anyone want to translate, I am, that I am. I am becoming who I am becoming. It is just a statement of evolution, of progress in motion constantly. You know, of like Moses try to pin me down. Here's how you can pin me down. You can't pin me down. Sorry. I am who I am becoming. You know, everything's in process. That's my name, and Moses is like, that's not helpful, you know. And so, you know, the and so hence you have God of Abraham and God of Isaac and God of Jacob, you know, like you have God that's a little more concrete, referencing ancestors, referencing, you know, what God does? God splits the seat. But in point of fact, when you know, how does God actually identify? God identifies as always in progress, and we are made in God's image. So all right, with that, with that, invite grab the four corners of your seat. Seat. Grab the seed, seed, hold them over your eyes.

Shima, I ah, Israel,

Adonai, Eloheinu, Adonai. E a,

yeah, have to it. Adonai Aloha, the whole lab ha over whole national, the high you had vari Myla, a share, a no he met sabacha, Hayom, Alibaba, shenan tam Levana fought Bain eena hav Tom almazu Zoet, PETA ha we share you will love with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might, these words. Let them be on your heart. Repeat them to your children. Speak of them when you sit in your home, when you walk in the way, when you lie down, when you rise up, bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they will be symbols before your eyes. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. All right, I'm gonna move us forward to, you know, I feel like we're, we're in an ally. Halpert. We're in an ally Halpert. Kick here, even though now she's, she's come and gone, but she sang a healing prayer. Anna, Elna, Rafa, Nala, it's a beautiful one, and it's a little complicated, honestly, for us to use it as a healing prayer, because I think it's, you know, like in general, in the in the community, it's got like, three parts, but you know what it's it's great. And so I want to do this as our healing prayer this morning. And so I'm going to just play the audio of it. And so go ahead and put your own folks in the chat who you are thinking about here. And the words are very simple. It's just what it's just what Moses says when his sister Miriam contracts leprosy. And you know what leprosy, Sarat? You know whatever it is, it but, but it's worth knowing at that moment, he did not have a great relationship with Miriam. The reason the Torah says that she was stricken with this disease was because she was talking, talking smack about her brother, Moses and his wife. Not great, not a good look. Miriam and God, you know, gives her this plague, not a great look. God, I mean, everybody gossips here and there, but at the point is, you shouldn't. And so Moses overriding the hurt he probably felt, nonetheless, prays for her like one of the most poignant and simple and direct prayers in the Torah. So seeing all of these names coming in, ah, did you listen, Ellen, this was like a meaningful prayer of healing, yeah, when your mom was in the hospital. All right, seeing everybody's name here. Oh, I'm so sorry, Jill for the loss of your dog. Oh, my goodness. All right. So Ana, Elna rafanala, for all of you And for everybody on your lists, you We

Can you hear it? Okay, Allah,

Allah. Love, Love, oh,

I know, out. Just take a moment to breathe and send your own body healing and light and breath you take

a breath and send that Healing and light up the folks are thinking about you.

You away refuel, Ashley. Ma to everyone on every one of your lists, and I'll just what Delia wrote here. You always have such a beautiful way, Delia, of saying, of saying what we're all thinking. You know, all those suffering in Israel and Palestine and their loved ones, and all Mishkan folks in need of healing and love, and all your friends and you all right, lots of love. Okay, golly. You know, here it is, 827, we actually made it. We made it through all the, all the, like beats of me. No, we did not, because we didn't blow shofar. So Ricky or Eric. Are you here? Eric? Eric's here? Oh yes. And Kaddish. So I'm thinking, I just re got to the part in Alan Liu's book where he recounts the story about the shofar blower who wanted only to be in the core of the Baal Shem tov's shofar core, and he practiced all of these secret formulations of prayers that you're supposed to say before blowing the shofar. Because, of course, you're not just supposed to blow the show. It's not a sound, you know, it is a sound, but it's, it's a sound that's channeling 1000s of years of pathos and stories and pain and, you know, rallying troops and cries. And it's, it's channeling prayer. And so, you know, there were all these secret kind of internal intentions, Cava note that they were supposed to learn. And this guy, he's been practicing for months, and he goes to the Baal Shem Tov, and he stands in front of him, and he forgets everything. He just forgets it. He completely chokes. And in that moment, he just feels like his entire life has been building toward this, and he blew it, and he just bursts into tears. And the Baal Shem Tov says, You're hired. And the idea is, and then he the Baal Shem Tov says, you know, the palace to the to the throne of God has a lot of keys, a lot of doors, lot of locked doors, and there are a lot of keys, but there is one, there's one key that breaks all the doors down, and that's the AX, and it's the broken heart. That's a broken heart. How do you get to God, like, when do you really know you know the essence of what it means to be human when you felt disappointment and loss, embarrassment, shame, pain, and you cry and you feel it, you empty yourself, and then you realize you can build back up. You can recover. You can grow. You are human. In fact, you can evolve. You're just like God. God's been. Heartbroken, too. So with all of that, Eric, you want to take us into shofar. And you know, for all of us, like whatever, whatever the sounds evoke, like the broken heart, the healing, the intention, let it help amplify all that. Go ahead. Ah,

yeah. Wow. Eric, yeah. Shako, my dog is so

excited by the show farm much I wasn't sure if it was the sound or if he wants to eat it.

But yesterday, when he perked up too. So it is actually the sound I think, Oh, my God. I think it is too it like, there is a funny YouTube video of like a Chabad guy at a big public park blowing a shofar, and then like dogs from across the huge park like all coming underneath the awning of the of the park. Yeah, it's i It's a powerful sound. All right, let us do Kaddish here. Let's, let's take ourselves into kedichia. Tone. Warner corners, Kaddish at Yes. Susan, all right, Dolores, godly and Barry, Coss and Joan curlow, I'm assuming. But who else are we remembering for Keith Chatham, Leonard, Simon, Teddy, Nadel or Nadel uncle? Sean nabalski, Tom, John Oh. Carlos, chennish, Sergio. Carlo, Dave soufian, Lenny, is there someone for whom it would be meaningful to lead Kaddish this morning,

I can yesterday was six months since my dad passed.

Oh my gosh. Melanie, wow, you could

all be good. Ashamed. Rabbi, amazing. Say Viet had Dar,

Vietnam, vietna se Viet had dar Viet ha leviat, halal, schmaid, curesha li ala mean, Colbert, hatavirata, tush, mahatava, nehamata, Tommy, Rabbi, amavirus or El the imru say, Shalom beam Roma, who ya, I say Shalom. Aleinu, feel, call you Israel. Feel, call you though. Theme room, amen, amen.

Libra, all right, well, I think what I want to close out with here is one last song, and this is one that now that we're in the week leading into sleek which is going to start, well, this is going to be Saturday night for those of you who are in Chicago, I hope you'll join us. So this is a tune that we're breaking out for the first time this year, written by my friend and colleague, Rabbi Miriam margles, and you will hear it begins with The sound of the shofar. It's called ASHRAE ham you

it means happy is the People who know the sound of the show cars.

A on your day. Father, You I

To All right, friends,

it's a nice one, right?

Hey, you

wanna talk Torah? Join us in real time for morning minyan every weekday at 8am there's a link to register the show notes our Wednesday conversations with Rabbi Lizzi go deep. We talked for half an hour after Kaddish. So if you're interested in real, meaningful conversations about spirituality and current events, get into it with us in morning. Minion, you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai