Come Close to the Broken Heart

Today's minyan features a new song by former Mishkan Leadership Fellow and current rock sensation Ezra Furman!

"Come Close" by Ezra Furman:

https://open.spotify.com/track/6qUhcvhfcdH2HqeVg9gjdM?si=723e2aa086ee4d7e

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Transcript

Transcript

Okay, good morning everybody. Hello, good morning. Rabbi. Nice to see everyone. Hi, Irene and Aiden and Sintra and Merida and Bonnie. Hello, Hi, Sarah and Glenn and hiya and Cory and Anne Merle and Rob and Susan and Susanna and Orion and Felicia and Leah Ari and Julia and Martin and Emmett and Roberta and Miriam and anybody else I've missed. Susan, Mark, Jed, Jacob, Melanie, my goodness, it's a good healthy crew here this morning. And Sarah, alright, I'm going to go underneath my talus prayer tent here. So if you've got one, great you can join me in this action if you haven't already put it on, and if you have or if you don't have one, with you. You can just take the moment to feel yourself embraced on all sides, top to bottom, around your shoulders and from head to toe, embraced, wrapped, loved, enlighten and ancestral tradition in the arms of those who have come before us and take a few deep breaths of just coming to arrive in this place of being here to praise, to connect, to learn, to grow. Varuhata Aron Elohim, a share, Keith Shana, but mitzvotavizit, I mean, okay. Take another moment or two to just breathe into where you were sitting, coming to stillness and finding a little bit of the joy that brought you here this morning. Actually, I'm curious, as we're starting minion today, like, what is it that brings you here every day, you know, or whenever you come so just put into the chat. It's like a little like sharing of intention, not necessarily like your intention for today, although that's fine, but like, what brings you here when you log on at 8am or 7am or even 6am depending on where you are, or 9am or If you're in Europe, in the afternoon, communal prayer. Hmm?

Ritual feels good, yeah, need for connection, love, support, help get out of bed. Yeah, coddish, grounding, a reminder of gratitude. I

Yeah, started with Kaddish and staying for community and gathering the day with purpose. I love this connection to God, singing, all of it. So great. Me too. I. Me too. Oh, welcome Jacob. All right, yeah, I love all this. I already feel all these things with you, with you all with you, saying all of this. All right, we're gonna do a little bit of little bit of singing. And then I brought a I brought up partial related learning, which I thought would be a beautiful, sort of beautiful and kind of different way to Get into the Torah learning this morning. All right, here,

Ma, To Oh, ha, Mishkan

Mishkan The

they

My Oh, hello,

oh Ni Baro has deca,

Oh, Vero has

deca,

Mishkan.

O teh Mishkan. I always love this

one because it has so many ideas in it that I just think are so important and beautiful. So of course, like Mato V O halacha ya COVID, Mishkan, otaka, Israel, comes from the place where the prophet, the prophet Balam, is supposed to curse the Jews, and then he can't. And he just instead goes to where he's supposed to curse them from, and instead looks out over all of their beautiful tents, and, you know, sort of like this little, you know, habitation they've made in the wilderness. And just the only thing he can say is how beautiful it is, your your tents, your mishkans Israel, your Mishkan otecha. And then these are other lines from mostly Psalms. And this one of Anita philate Sounds like I I am my prayer to you, which I think is a really important idea for anybody for whom the Hebrew language or being given words of prayer to say, as if this is prayer, no, no, no, says the psalmist. You are prayer. You are the prayer. You're the one saying the words. You're the one who makes it meaning. Full. You're the one who has the intention, a need to fill at tilaka, Adonai et Ratzon. So, you know, our sidur that I have right back there is sidur et Ratzon. That's the name of it. Any any sidur, sort of worth its salt, comes up with a name for itself. You know, usually drawing the name from somewhere in Jewish tradition. And so our author ate rezzo, the author of our particular eight Retz. And there's a an egalitarian one, and then there's also an orthodox one. So we use the egalitarian one. And the author writes, you know, there's this idea that there are certain moments that are auspicious for prayer, that are an eight Ratzon, you know, for example, the morning or maybe midnight, you know, Shaq, Mincha, Mari, there are certain moments that are a terezon, or that maybe you feel closer to God, and therefore are a tore zone, a time of desire, when, like God is, you know, sort of like absorbing or reaching out in a way that that might be different than other times. And he says, of course, of course, sometimes it feels that way, but we all know like, let's be real. We all know that God is available at all times, and that you are available at all times, and it's just a question of turning your heart to be available, you know, to turn this moment into an A threat zone. So I'm grateful to all of you for showing up, because you being here with all of the intentions that you bring. Make this an EIGHT Ratzon, all right, beautiful, I'm going to fast forward. Fast forward. Goodness, goodness. There's so much cohenic, and then we'll go into our blessings before, before Shaq or in shakh, invite

you to sit up a little bit straighter or in whatever position you are, so that you can take a deeper breath so you can take a Kohane Shama every breath being praised. Feel the breath like enervating your toes and calves and knees and thighs and pelvis, diaphragm, your lungs, your shoulders, your neck, Your head, sort of each part lighting up.

Kohaelelia, hallelujah,

Oh Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah,

hallelujah. Hallelujah,

am

I Hallelujah?

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, oh yeah,

because Martin's here, and I know this is his favorite, and it's an easy transition from a minor into a and we're this Sunday, going to be beginning the month of Nissan, in which we celebrate Passover. So we're kind of turning all of our energies toward Passover, energy preparing, energy crossing the sea, energy coming across something hard, energy. So actually, hey, with this prayer right now, oh, zivism, Rabbi, yeah, let's use this as a healing, healing prayer space. So if there's somebody you're thinking of now, go ahead and list their name in the chat, or say their name out loud. We're going to pray for them. Pray that they feel this sentiment, this sentiment that the Israelites sang when they got to the far shore of the sea. We're.

O,

z the issue

Marat ya, leshua O Zee bazima, Rabbi Yahi li Shu Vishu, lishua, hosi,

bez, o z, e, o, z, E, Marat, Ya,

Bai, E,

Lee,

O,

Z, refua

shalema, a complete and speedy recovery to everyone, everyone in this Room, first of all, many of you when you say me, when you say me on your list, then someone else who noticed that you said you, then they go ahead and they say your name, because ideally, ideally, all of us are saying someone else's name, and someone else is getting to hear their name heard and know that they are being prayed for, but sometimes you need to let people know that you need prayer. And I feel like it's such a beautiful thing in this little room, we're able to do that both for other people outside this room and then inside this room, when we realize somebody needs somebody needs it, reaching out and just, you know, saying somebody else's name. So many folks were thinking about parents and friends, you don Alexander's family, and actually two people whose names I weren't I wasn't quickly able to type in the chat, but who I'm also thinking about members of our community. Let me find their names here. I don't want to hang on Well, Eliana and Layla and I'm just going to trust that Hashem knows the last names of the people I'm thinking of and knows exactly who they are. All right, we're going to move forward all the way to the Shema. So put down my guitar. Take a moment to to breathe, connecting with the oneness and the unity that the Shema calls, calls for our the watch word of our faith, as the reformed C Doer used to, used to say, I don't know if it still says that the watch word of our faith, but this assertion that all of us are connected, everything is connected, and we call that cosmic connection Of all of us throughout time and space. God

Adonai, and it is ichad, so just take a moment you can Close your eyes. Shema,

Yisrael,

el Adonai, elohinu,

Adonai EJA

they are after eight, I don't know how about they are. You had a very impressive.

Be

Taha

um,

so I have started doing some Passover prep because, well, as we've discussed, it's in two and a half weeks, and I think I'm going to devote most of minion over the past the next two weeks to just to like, little nuggets of stuff that I find that I think is fun or useful, and so let's see if we can do this in the next nine minutes and and finish on time. So I found this yesterday. I was looking through different haggadot I have, and this is the Velveteen Rabbi's haggadah. I don't know if she's updated it since I downloaded it many moons ago, but just coming off the heels of doing the Shema, I noticed this yesterday, and I wanted to, I wanted to read it. So this is Jay Michaelson, and he sort of, well, first of all, the Velveteen rabbi is Rabbi Rachel barenblatt. She is in New York, and the Haggadah is a lot of meditations. You can see this different meditations on the idea of, like this Seder is reenacting, going from slavery to freedom and constriction to expansion. Who are you? I'm Yisrael. Where are you coming from? Mizraim, the narrow place. Where are you going? Yerushalayim. And so then she kind of wrestles with, you know, what does it mean to be Israel? Where does it what is mitzraim? What is Yerushalayim? And so then this is a different poem. This is from J Michaelson, and I thought I would read it out loud here. When I see the word Israel, when I see the word Israel, I see Israel wrestles with God. God is victorious. When I see the word, I do not see the chosen few. I see those few who chose, those few, who you chose to wrestle with you a contest in which both wrestlers are one and in which the one is victorious. I see those few who choose among the many nations, among all people, those few who choose to make love to you, and those who say, I betroth myself to you, whether it feels like honey or a thorn bush, because even the thorn bush sometimes glows with the fire of Revelation. When I see the word Yisrael, I know many claim it as their own, as a title, a privilege, a status, as if God chose them. And they are right in this God chooses, but they are wrong and thinking only them. God breathes. God breathes through many begotten sons and daughters, and wrestles through his glorious perverts and professors, and as there is only one contestant for better or for worse, this wrestling is an embrace of recognition and delight. Do you seek God? God seeks you, and who will you allow to be victorious?

Isn't that nice? Any any comments or observations before, before I move on to the next thing I wanted to do with you this morning,

I was shocked by by the third to first, third to the last stanza. Okay, the the the glorious perverts and professors

that God wrestles through them.

Yeah, I don't get that. I'm trying, but I don't get the glorious perverts.

Anyone, anyone want to respond to that? Great. Thank you for saying that.

Listen to Ezra Furman song, come close to me, and it will all become clear. Aiden,

oh, well, now we're going to have to do that. Now that wasn't on my dance card for today, but now it will be

come close to me, last song on. Um, all of us, flames,

beautiful, great. Um,

what did it mean to you? Then Miriam to explain that? Well, so to me, so. So the song is really about the down of out and out of society, and particularly the LGBTQ down and out, and a cry to God from the person singing to come close, to come close to them and to see. And he sees, you know, he talks, she talks about incidents that the naked eye are perverted right or are wrong or are, you know. She talks about giving a guy a blowjob through or a hand jog through the window of a truck. And needing to leave abruptly because there's a police cruiser. She talks about a guy on Belmont who's asking for money and offers the songwriter a drink. And he says, I'm sorry I can't and then the person says, Do you have a love to spare? And then, and the refrain of the song is, remember the broken brokenhearted stub out your cigarette come close to me, and to me, it's an image of God, of a God who embraces us in our lowest moments, our perversions, perhaps our wrongdoing, but also like just the brokenness of those who are seen as outcasts by society in some way or another, Who are seen as doing. Oh, what's the word?

Deena is doing things that are there's a word for it, but I can't remember, and doing things that are outside the pale or that are frowned upon. But where inside there's someone saying, Do you have any love you can spare? Right? And God has that love to spare. And the songwriters calling God into the room, calling God to put out his or her cigarette, right? Stop this, this posture of aloofness, come into the room with us.

Can I? Can I read some of the responses that are in the in the chat too, for the benefit of folks who are listening? Thank you, Miriam, and thanks for bringing that song in and and that line, God is close to the brokenhearted. It's a line from Psalm 145, coronavicola, share your hub and that like the the one who's calling out in all sincerity. I mean, what I what I heard you asking? Aiden was like, Yeah, we're not talking about sincerity. We're talking about like a person who's doing something like wrong and bad. And what do you mean, God? Like, why are we calling that glorious? So I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna read what Sintra wrote here. I interpret glorious perverts to mean no one is so deviant as to be far from God, that to consider someone outside is an illusion. And we're all wrestling, no matter who we are, and we are all close and then Meredith, we're the ones judging ourselves and one another. If we're all one with God, it includes all of us, we're all glorious. We can't elevate one over another. As a queer who's been called perverted, I super appreciate use of that word glorious. Yeah, wow. Thank you. Thank you. So part of it is basically in the eye of the beholder. Is is actually right? The word being we know that that word can be used as a weapon or as an insult, and rather than us assuming, here it is being used objectively to describe somebody who is bad, actually, what he's doing is describing like you one of one of us, and the place or moment in which one of us might be called perverted for being gay, or, you know, into whatever we're into. And it's like now, actually, God says you're glorious. Be yourself. Be yourself. Off and something like that. Yeah, yeah.

So like, I'm also thinking, and I would type this in the chat, but it's not formed enough this thought. But there's what we determine. But like, what gets labeled perverted is stuff that we kind of collectively has decided, have decided, is somehow irredeemable, or, like, has no value. So there's something quintessentially Jewish about taking the cast like, like the cast offs and saying, No, God is here. Like, this is also the salamelohi,

right? The stone the builders rejected becomes the cornerstone it's from, it's one of the psalms in Hallel, Evan, masuha, bone, haita, la, Roche, Pina becomes the becomes, you know, the one that we actually elevate. Yeah, thank you. Thank you all. Thank you for the wrestling. And yeah, the, the link for the Haggadah was posted in the chat here, and I am going to pause this. I The only Laurie. I want to move on to you. However, I realize that it's 830 and I want to make sure we do kadeshia tome mourners, coddish, and it has been 11 months, Sintra, since you joined us to begin saying Kaddish for your dad. I wonder if you might lead us and anybody else who wants to join. Of course, can. But do you want to say anything, Sintra, about kind of what this moment means for you?

I sort of do, but I actually don't, so I'd like to be able to say the Kaddish without choking up so but I do appreciate this community being here. I didn't. I'm not very observant generally, but I thought that for something that is such a integral part of the Jewish process of grieving that I'd give it a shot and see what it brought to me in my life. So thank you all for making this possible for me these last 11 months. And I can't believe it's been 11 months. You guys have to see me on screen, which I don't normally do, so there you go.

Nice to see your face. 730 in the morning Denver time. Is there anybody else who's saying coddish here today, and you know for whom you want to say it for Barry cos and hardy? Bennett, Mordecai Smith,

my aunt Nancy Jacobson and my uncle Sheldon tobolsky,

Joan curlo, Rabbi, Stanley Davids.

My dad, marker, love.

Yeezy, hornam, Libra, may all of their memories be blessings and people can unmute to join Sintra and call. Respond, you.

Yikadal, Bucha, Rabbi Amen Lich mahute, Bucha, Israel, but agala ubism,

Rabbi say via Tada, Vita leviticha, Layla, Mikko bircha, tava she, Bucha Hey, Lama, Rabbi min Shamaya, bahay, malayu ko Israel. Vimaroo, amen Osei, shalom, bimah Huya Asai shalom, alainuve Israeli

Pollock's memory be a blessing. Such a such a thing, to like to hear somebody's name every day, you know, like every day, to type it in the chat, and to know you're at the end of that period where you know that the obligation of a child to a parent to say cottage for them daily. You're at the end of that. So you don't have to now, but you always can now. And I know there are many folks in this room who started off here for the same reason that brought you here, and then they never left. Like Hotel California. You know you can check out anytime you like, but you know somehow you just never leave. So I hope that you'll always feel welcome here on any day. But since Wednesday mornings are my day.

Rabbi Lizzi, is there something you say to someone when they reach the the end of the 11 months?

Oh, that's interesting. I. I don't know.

I think we should research that. That's great,

yeah, all right. How about

go dance.

There you go. There you go. All right. Miriam, what's the name of that song that you told us to listen to, to for a deeper even though you kind of narrated the entire song for us, but

it's come close to me.

And what you all need to know about this beautiful, beautiful artist, Ezra Furman, is that she was a Leadership Fellow at Mishkan. She, like, led services for us. And was a, you know, was regularly, you know, regularly leading and, and, and when she's in town, often comes to Mishkan, so that's a fun thing. So I don't think there's a music video for this. I just see, I just see the song. Yeah, is that, what do you know if there's a music video for this or Miriam, no, hello, okay.

All right, I don't know. Lizzi, I never looked for a music video. All right.

Well, let me, let me just see before I play it off the before I just play it here.

Oh, well, fan, lyric, music, video, a, what do you call it? Unauthorized unauthorized thing, but then at least this way you can see the you can see the lyrics,

unauthorized is appropriate for what we're talking about, right? Is it

okay? All right, here we go. Hang on.

Okay. Now let

me and to think what we were going to do today was watch a bim bam video of Parshat Picco day, and instead, we're watching Ezra Furman. It's real, real different, but that's okay. Here we go. Share sound.

Yeah. A lot of ezra's lyrics and music is very inspired by Jewish tradition and Jewish liturgy. So here we go. You

and this one's for Troy, whom I gave a quick hand job to the driver's side window of an SUV on a cool spring night at 9:30pm I didn't know him, he didn't know me, and when a police cruiser drifted by, I said I'd have to see him some other time. And I never did, and I never will, and I can remember his rough kiss still, Lord, come close to the brokenhearted. Stop out your cigarette and come close to me.

And this one's for Steven, who stands out on Belmont those days with a trench coat and a bottle of booze. And I'm amazed at the way that he phrased it when he asked if I had any love he could use. He wanted to kiss me. I gave him my hand. He offered me a drink. I said, sorry I can't, Lord, be close to the brokenhearted. Stop out your cigarette. Come close to me, the desperate ones don't disappear. We're all still hanging around. And what do your rainbows do? What do your bright flags do what your rainbows do here on the

ground and if you still pray. Put the shawl all the beats, all the little black boxes on leather straps. Or if you don't even know where your wandering heart goes when you lie in your room in the dark on your back, let me know what you find deep inside there, if there's room for a freak with no place to hide, there be close to the brokenhearted. Put out your cigarette, honey. Come close to me. You.

Oh, wow. Thank you, Miriam, for that suggestion. What a beautiful way to close out,

Mayor. I also say that if you really want to geek out on Ezra and Judaism and other things, there's a companion book to this album, and it goes into the different among other things, the different plate, where he where she pulls her influences. So she talks about girl groups and Bob Dylan and the Torah a lot like it kind of amazed me how often she's quoting Torah in her songs and Psalms and everything else. So that's my morning gift to everyone I.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai